


Throw Me in the Water

by KrystalM



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Sports, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arthur is a good boyfriend, BAMF Merlin, Cenred Being Cenred, Established Relationship, Hurt Merlin, Implied Morgana/Will - Freeform, International Swimmer Arthur, M/M, Merlin Has Fear of Water/Drowning, National Swim Coach Merlin, Protective Arthur, Slice of Life, Swim Team, Swimmer Arthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 21:17:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12849699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrystalM/pseuds/KrystalM
Summary: Arthur Pendragon is a famous international swimmer, the best in the world and Merlin Emrys is a well-known National Swim Team Coach, both recruited and working for Britain's top sports recruitment company, Camelot Sports Company and Training Centre. But behind the scenes, when no one else is around, they navigate a life full of challenges from their relationship to obnoxious students who think they know better to a rival who seems to know which buttons to press.





	Throw Me in the Water

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: I KNOW. I KNOW I HAVE HE WHO IS KING TO UPDATE AND WHAT NOT BUT-- BUT. GUYYYSSS. COME ON. SWIMMER ARTHUR AND COACH MERLIN ANYONE??? I think it works, heh. This is somewhat a fic I wrote for you guys to hold you guys off from the other three stories I got going on while I write their chapters down. So, have this instead! It's 23K and--full of stuff. Lots of stuff. Like seriously, it's not that angsty, don't worry but it's not all happy either. HAPPY ENDING THO. SO. YAY. Also because I'm kinda itching for established relationship story while waiting for Merlin and Arthur to get together in the other three stories I got going on. I'm a teensy-weensy nervous about this story though. I also have half a mind to write a sequel/prequel for this, but we'll see. Make this into a series or something. 
> 
> Hope you guys like it! Let me know what you guys think in the comments and--until we meet again~! -Krystal
> 
> Warning for mentions of past bullying.

 

 

 

**i. Merlin**

 

A whistle broke through the sounds of water being parted and pushed away by hands and feet. “Anderson, what did I just say about that stroke?” Merlin said with a sigh, dropping the whistle so it settled back on his neck, hung by a chain. Anderson, a tall boy with broader-than-a-typical-swimmer-shoulders leaned against the edge of the swimming pool, pushing up his goggles to place it at the top of his head. 

“I did!” Anderson exclaimed. Merlin sighed again as he crouched down to look at his student in the eyes. Anderson didn’t avert his eyes, instead, he made sure his green eyes bored into his icy blue ones in defiance. Merlin could feel his energy draining from his already exhausted body and mind. 

“Can we not do this?” Merlin mumbled, his voice low enough for only Anderson to hear. He was vaguely aware that some of his students have stopped in mid-swim, floating about the edges of the pool to listen in to their conversation. Merlin raised his head to stare at the spectators and it only took one glance for his students to go back swimming. 

“Look,” Anderson said with a gruff. “I’m doing everything like you told me to.”

“No, no, you’re not,” Merlin said, resisting the urge to sit on the wet floor. The last thing he needed on this exhausting day was a wet bum. He almost snorted at what his blond companion would say about that. He would probably have a leer on his face and another one of his innuendoes at the tip of his tongue, that was for sure. 

Anderson scowled as he slapped a hand on the wet floor, catching Merlin’s attention again. “I think I’m done for today,” Anderson said, rising up from the pool. Merlin shook his head and touched his shoulders, trying to push him back into the pool. 

“No, you’re not done for today, Anderson,” Merlin said, a headache threatening to make itself known. “Not until I say so. I’m the coach, remember?”

Anderson simply rolled his eyes and tried to push Merlin off him. Merlin growled, not wanting to back down from this troublemaker and tried to push him back into the pool once more, leaning his entire weight on his hands. 

“Piss off!” Anderson grumbled and this time, he grabbed Merlin by his wrists and turned him around so he went flying into the pool. Everyone had gone silent. Only the sound of a loud splash echoed the entire swimming stadium. Merlin panicked as water hit his body. 

Merlin struggled, pushing his hands through the water as fear gripped the back of his mind tight. His legs kicked and kicked while he opened his mouth, water rushing into him. He couldn’t make it to the surface and he flailed. He knew that if he could just reign in this fear, he could be swimming back towards the surface. 

But he couldn’t. 

The familiar fear from the past reared into him at the last minute and at last he started to lose his breath. He was drowning and he desperately wished for someone to save him. Why wasn’t anyone saving him?

Just as his life threatened to flash before his eyes, he felt strong arms grabbing around his chest and dragged him up to the surface. Merlin gasped for breath, his eyes watered as he struggled at everything and anything, from the arms around his body to the fact that there was a lot of water surrounding him and he wanted to escape. 

The person pulled Merlin to the side ofthe swimming pool and dragged him up to the wet floor, pushing him to his back. Merlin coughed and turned to his side, vomiting chemical-tasting water. He felt his body shivering and a sob got caught at the back of his throat. 

He still couldn’t breathe. He grabbed at his throat, trying to get his mind wrap around the fact he wasn’t in danger anymore. 

Suddenly, all he could see was water. 

Water and jeering faces. Laughing meanly. Legs too heavy to kick and arms bound too tight to flail. 

Hands gripped his shoulders and he was forced to turn around until his face met with a wet shirt plastered on a familiar strong chest. Merlin immediately wrapped his arms around him when he recognised who it was, shivering violently as he tucked his face against the crook of his neck. 

“Shh,” the voice cooed in his ear as a hand ran through his hair in a placating manner. “You’re here, Merlin. You’re here. You’re not in Ealdor anymore. Come back to me, okay?”

Merlin held onto that voice, letting it settle deep in his bones in a way that only his voice could. He nodded weakly against him, struggling to catch his breath but becoming easier to do so the longer the voice cooed in his ears. 

“Merlin, Merlin, I need you to tell me if you know where you are and if you know who I am,” he said, gripping him securely. Merlin closed his eyes tight and shook his head. “Merlin, shh, come on, love. Tell me and I won’t ask anything more, okay?”

Merlin took in a shaky deep breath, his heart that raced a few minutes ago started to calm down. “U-Uhm,” Merlin whispered. “I—I am….,” Merlin said and stopped, gulping a few times as he tried to remember where he was. 

Then, slowly, he started to remember. Anderson had thrown him into the pool. 

“Pool,” Merlin said, his shoulders sagging in exhaustion. “In Camelot Sports Centre, Arthur.”

“Yeah,” he said, patting Merlin’s back a few times. “Come on, let’s get you to your office.”

Merlin held onto him a bit longer, not moving before he nodded and pulled away a bit. He lifted his head and was met with worried blue eyes staring right back at him. There was a wary smile on his handsome face. Merlin raised a shaky hand to his cheek, caressing it before he pushed away the sticking wet blond hair from his forehead. He gave Arthur a weak smile in return. 

Arthur eyed him for a few more seconds before he nodded, his jaw clenched tight. He stood up then, gently helping Merlin to stand up as well. He looped a hand on Merlin’s shoulder and held him close as they walked past his gawking students and a stiff-as-a-board Anderson. 

Merlin stopped walking for a second, looking at Anderson. “Meet me in my office first thing tomorrow morning,” Merlin said, trying to keep his voice stern but it only came out shaky. 

“S—Sir,” Anderson began but was stopped when Arthur made a low noise at the back his throat. 

Merlin touched Arthur’s chest with the back of his palm. Arthur looked at him and pulled Merlin away from the pool, heading into the changing rooms where his office would be located past them. Merlin let him pull him there, not once struggling at the vice grip. Once the door was closed, Merlin shook his head and was pulled into a tight embrace. Arthur pushed his nose at the crook of Merlin’s neck as Merlin sobbed. 

Arthur rocked them front and back for a while as he let Merlin cry his eyes dry. 

It took Merlin about twenty minutes before he hiccuped and the sob lessened into silent tears. By that time, Arthur had moved them to the couch and made him sit on his lap. Merlin had his face tucked against Arthur’s neck, taking in deep breaths as Arthur’s hand rubbed his back while the other looped around his waist. 

Finally, Merlin sighed and pulled away, sniffing, no longer wanting to cry. Arthur looked at him for a while before he smiled, a soft smile as he rubbed the remaining tears away from Merlin’s face with his thumbs. Then, he cradled his cheeks, shaking his face right and left gently in a way to elicit a smile. 

And it did make Merlin smile. 

He chuckled, still weakly, the fear slowly leaving him and he felt safe again. He touched Arthur’s hands and squeezed them, smiling wider when Arthur pulled Merlin’s face close to his, their foreheads touching. Arthur then leaned in and pecked his lips before grimacing at the taste of the water, causing Merlin to laugh. 

“You okay now?” Arthur asked. 

“Yeah, thanks,” Merlin said as he dropped his hands to his lap. “How did you find me?”

“I was just stopping by,” Arthur said, his voice low but Merlin knew what he really meant. 

“Arthur,” Merlin began. Arthur tensed underneath him. “I don’t need you to check up on me once every couple of hours.”

Arthur narrowed his eyes and shook his head, dropping his hands away from Merlin’s face. He relaxed his body on the couch, tilting his head backwards to look at the ceiling. Merlin watched how his jaw tightened and his shoulders became stiffer. 

It was an old reoccurring argument between them. Merlin understood where Arthur was coming from but sometimes, he felt too fragile. Too weak whenever Arthur did things such as this. He hated feeling like that. 

“You almost drowned today,” Arthur said, tersely. He flitted his eyes on Merlin’s. “You’re lucky I was there. None of your dumb students did anything but stand and watch.”

“They’re not dumb, Arthur,” Merlin mumbled, repeating the same thing he always did whenever the subject of his students came up. 

“They just stood there and watched, doing nothing, as their coach almost fucking drowned,” Arthur growled. 

Merlin couldn’t argue with that. He should have some words with them later on. He leaned closer and tucked his head underneath Arthur’s chin. Arthur wrapped his arms around him immediately and dragged him impossibly closer than before. He relaxed underneath Merlin’s weight. 

“Thanks for saving me,” Merlin said, breathing the words against Arthur’s neck. He chuckled as he felt Arthur shivering. 

“I can’t lose you,” Arthur mumbled after a second of silence. Merlin wrapped his own arms around Arthur’s chest.

“You won’t,” Merlin said. “Not when you’re taking care of me.”

“Can you quit now?” Arthur whined. Merlin sighed loudly and pushed away from Arthur, standing up. Arthur simply stared up at him. “Merlin, come on, please?”

“I can’t,” Merlin said, shaking his head. “You don’t understand.”

“I’m trying,” Arthur said, looking frustrated. “But just—…”

“I want to overcome my fear, Arthur,” Merlin said, sounding weary. 

“But you aren’t overcoming it at all,” Arthur pointed out, sounding just as exhausted. “It’s been five years, Merlin. You’re still the same.”

Merlin felt tears gathering in his eyes. Arthur saw them and immediately stood up but Merlin only took a step backwards when Arthur tried to touch him. “Merlin, I…,” Arthur began but Merlin shook his head, quietening him. 

“I hate the water,” Merlin hissed. “But if I let myself hate it, if I fear it, then _they’re_ going to be right and I—I can’t have them be right.”

Arthur remained quiet. The only response he got was Arthur’s arms wrapping around his body, like an armour from the world. Merlin sagged in his embrace. 

 

**ii. Arthur**

 

Merlin slept soundly next to him. He looked peaceful, his wavy black hair sprawled on the lavender coloured pillow. On the crimson red sheets, Merlin’s skin looked paler than usual. He looked so fragile. Arthur continued to watch him, lying on his side. 

He raised a hand and touched Merlin’s face, caressing his cheek before he poked his nose, smiling when Merlin cutely scrunched his face up. Arthur took his hand away and dropped it on the sheets between them, still staring at his lover of more than five years, best friend of over ten years. 

Arthur would do everything and anything to keep him safe. 

If he had the chance, he would take away all the pain Merlin had experienced. The only regret he had in his heart was not being able to help him when Merlin desperately needed him the most, eight years ago. 

When those bullies almost drowned him in the school’s pool, watching him flail and try to fight for his breath. Arthur had been away, training to be a national swimmer, scouted by Camelot Sports Company. It took him three days to find out that the reason Merlin didn’t answer his calls was because he had been in the hospital, beaten up and almost drowned. 

What hurt the most was that this wasn’t the first time they had pushed him in the water and Arthur had no idea about it, always too busy with his blooming career. He thought Merlin was the same, busy with his school work too. 

He had abandoned everything and rushed back home and he stayed with Merlin for two weeks until Merlin made him go back. Their friendship strained for a while with Arthur feeling guilty and Merlin feeling awful for troubling Arthur. 

At the end, Arthur had snapped and kissed him, told him that he would die if anything happened to him. Merlin was everything to him. Friend and a lover. A part of his heart and soul. 

Merlin mumbled, his breath coming out in short puffs before he quietened and after a few minutes, he opened his eyes. Arthur’s breath got caught at the back of his throat when he saw the beautiful blue eyes. They were so icy and cool but at the same time, Arthur had watched countless of times at how warm those blue eyes could get. 

“Hey,” Merlin croaked. 

“Hi,” Arthur said, smiling as he once again touched Merlin’s face, caressing his cheek. Merlin closed his eyes for a second, leaning into Arthur’s touch and shuffling closer to him until Arthur had his arms around him. Arthur swung a leg over Merlin’s hip, just to make the embrace safer. 

“Why are you awake?” Merlin asked, tucking his head underneath Arthur’s chin and he felt those perfectly bow-shaped lips pressing against his skin. Arthur shuddered a bit and pressed his lips to Merlin’s hair. 

“Just thinking,” Arthur whispered. 

“Hm, about what?” Merlin asked, sounding a bit curious as his fingers on Arthur’s hip started to brush back and forth in a gentle motion. 

Arthur hummed. “About how cute you looked wearing that crown.”

Merlin chuckled, slapping his hand on Arthur’s hip. “Morgana’s child is as evil as her mother.”

“Hey, don’t talk about our goddaughter like that,” Arthur said, laughing with Merlin. “Elly is a sweetheart.”

“She’s cunning like her mother,” Merlin deadpanned. “She’ll be Morgana 2.0 when she’s in her teens. Just you wait and see.”

Arthur groaned. “No, I can’t imaging having another Morgana in our family.”

“Poor Will,” Merlin said, humour in his voice. 

“Poor Will indeed,” Arthur said with a sigh, running his hands through Merlin’s soft hair. Merlin curled his body closer to Arthur’s. Arthur mused that Merlin was almost like a cat, begging for patting and attention. Arthur wasn’t complaining but he couldn’t resist poking some fun about it. 

“That’s not what you’re thinking about, is it?” Merlin said but Arthur had been with him long enough to know that it wasn’t a question. It was a statement and it made Arthur’s chest warm at the thought that Merlin knew him so well. 

“No,” Arthur said. 

“Want to talk about it?” Merlin asked but Arthur could sense a hint of sleepiness in his voice. And Arthur knew that if he told Merlin what he thought about, it would only end up in a fight and that was the last thing he wanted when he was about to leave for his competition tomorrow evening. 

“Arthur?” Merlin said, pulling away but before he could get anywhere, Arthur pulled him back in. Arthur buried his nose in Merlin’s hair, inhaling the sweet scent of cherries, his eyes burning with tears when he thought about what happened this afternoon. If he had been any later, he would have lost him. Merlin went quiet but he was rubbing Arthur’s back like he knew what he was thinking about. 

“I almost lost you,” Arthur whispered, his voice thick with emotions. “If I had been any later…”

“I’m safe,” Merlin said, kissing Arthur’s neck. “I’m here because you saved me.”

“Yeah,” Arthur said. “But if I hadn’t been…”

This time Merlin did pull away and Arthur was powerless to stop him. His vision was blurry with tears as Merlin switched on the bedside lamp. He stared down at Arthur, his eyes were sharp and awake. He then smiled, a fond smile, as he wiped the tears away from Arthur’s face. He leaned down and pecked his forehead. 

“You’re always saving me,” Merlin said, shoulders hunching inwards, a sign that he was guilty. Arthur touched his face, cradling his cheekbones with his hands. “Sometimes I feel like I’m burdening you.”

“Hey,” Arthur said, a frown on his face. “You can _never_ burden me.”

“I love you,” Merlin whispered. Arthur pulled him in and kissed him breathless. Merlin kissed him back just as deeply.

“I love you too,” Arthur whispered back as he pushed Merlin on his back and hovered above him. “Can we…?”

“Yeah,” Merlin said with another one of those fond smiles that he loved and pulled Arthur down to kiss him again. They made love that night and Arthur made sure Merlin knew how much he meant to him.

He couldn’t lose him. 

 

**iii. Merlin**

 

Anderson looked at the floor. Merlin was upset with him. Anderson always had this temper problem. Now, it almost caused him to drown. 

“You need to control that temper of yours,” Merlin said as he leaned in his chair. Anderson’s shoulders were tight and he glanced at Merlin before he looked away. 

“I’m sorry,” Anderson said.

“I could have drowned,” Merlin said. 

“Yeah,” Anderson said. Then, he narrowed his green eyes at Merlin, accusingly. “Then why are you a swim coach?”

Merlin blinked at him, taken aback at the gall this particular student had. Anderson had always been troublesome ever since Camelot Sports Company had recruited him and placed him under Merlin’s coaching. They had big plans for him. And Merlin could even see Anderson becoming a famous international swimmer like Arthur was. 

But with this rotten attitude of his, he wasn’t going to go anywhere, unless he wanted to coach brats like Merlin did for the past five years. 

“I don’t think that’s any of your business,” Merlin said, raising his eyebrows. Anderson simply huffed, crossing his arms against his chest. 

“If you can’t swim, then why are you even coaching a swim team?” Anderson snarked. Merlin rolled his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose. 

“I _can_ swim,” Merlin said. “I just choose to stay out of the water. The reasons are none of your business. You want to be the best of the best and I’m helping you to get there.”

Anderson went quiet for a while. Everyone knew that Merlin had coached even Arthur lessons before a competition. Their relationship speculations aside, Merlin was a bloody good coach if he could say so himself. None one of his students ever failed to become something when they trained under him. 

Maybe Anderson would break that winning streak and become the first to be nothing. 

Merlin pushed that thought from his mind. 

Anderson looked at Merlin closely before he stood up. “Whatever,” Anderson said. “I said I was sorry. Can I leave now?”

Merlin waved him off, knowing that his reprimand wouldn’t stick in his thick head. Maybe he should write a bad report about him and let the HQ decide if Anderson was worth sticking around. 

Merlin pulled out his smartphone from his pants and thumbed open the pictures, smiling when he saw Arthur’s face in the recent cameral roll. It was a picture of him in bed, hair messed up and shirtless with a dopey grin on his face. 

He must have taken this picture before he left to America for the competition yesterday evening. Merlin immediately texted him with the picture saying: ‘What’s this in my cameral roll, Arthur? Your face? Really?’

Arthur didn’t respond immediately but Merlin knew he couldn’t. He was probably still busy. 

It was a few hours after Merlin had watched the live stream of his competition and Arthur winning the gold medal before he responded. 

  
From: Arthur Pratdragon  
To: Merlin  
9:08 AM  
You can never have enough of my face, Merlin. When will you learn?

  
To: ArthurPratdragon  
From: Merlin  
9:10 AM  
When will you learn that I have your face memorised even in my nightmares? By the way, congratulations on your gold medal! I knew you could do it. <3

From: Arthur Pratdragon  
To: Merlin  
9:15 AM  
I think you meant dream, Merlin. Even in your dreams. And thanks. Wish you were here though.

To: Arthur Pratdragon  
From: Merlin  
9:16AM  
Aww, you miss me already? I wish I was there too. Alas, duty calls.

From: Arthur Pratdragon  
To: Merlin  
9:17 AM  
I always miss you whenever you’re not by my side. Don’t act like you don’t miss me too. Fuck duties. Skip them to support your boyfriend for once.

To: Arthur Pratdragon   
From: Merlin  
9:16 AM  
I hope you know that I have a bigger bed to myself whenever you’re not around. It’s a luxury, I say! And love, I am supporting you. In my head. Spiritually. Mentally. All that jazz.

From: Arthur Pratdragon  
To: Merlin  
9:18 AM  
You liar. Luxury, my arse. The only luxury you probably will get is not getting kicked in the shin like you deserve for being a sarcastic little shit. Also, I would rather have you here supporting me physically.

To: Arthur Pratdragon  
From: Merlin  
9:19 AM  
I miss you too, gosh. Make a joke and you get threatened for bodily harm. And, Arthur?

From: Arthur Pratdragon  
To: Merlin  
9:19 AM  
What?

To: Arthur Pratdragon  
From:Merlin  
9:20 AM  
I love you and I wish I could support you physically by being there too. Come back home soon, okay? Even if England weather is shit sometimes.

From: Artuhr Pratdragon  
To: Merlin  
9:20 AM  
I love you too, you dork. I’ll come home to you, I promise. No matter how nice the weather in America is, I’ll always come back to you. Also, I have something to talk to you when I come back.

To: Arthur Pratdragon  
From: Merlin  
9:21 AM  
Oh-uh. Is it a good talk or a bad one?

From: Arthur Pratdragon  
To: Merlin  
9:22 AM  
Have you done something to warrant a bad talk?

To: Arthur Pendragon  
From: Merlin  
9:22 AM  
No?

From Arthur Pratdragon  
To: Merlin  
9:22 AM  
You don’t sound so sure…

To: Arthur Pratdragon  
From: Merlin  
9:22 AM  
No!

From: Arthur Pratdragon  
To: Merlin  
9:23 AM  
Better. Now, it’s a good talk. Well, depending on how you’re going to react but I’m optimistic you’ll react favourably to this.

To: Arthur Pratdragon  
From: Merlin  
9:24 AM  
…You know, whenever you say things like ‘Oh, I have a suggestion!’, it always ends up with one of us injured or in trouble.

From: Arthur Pratdragon  
To: Merlin  
9:26 AM  
What? No, that’s you!

To: Arthur Pratdragon  
From: Merlin  
9:28 AM  
Oh yeah…alright, so what’s the suggestion?

  
  
From: Arthur Pratdragon  
To: Merlin  
9:30 AM  
Later. When I get back home.

To: Arthur Pratdragon  
From: Merlin  
9:32 AM  
Sigh. Fine. You better have a great suggestion to something I don’t know about or else.

From: Arthur Pratdragon  
To: Merlin  
9:35 AM  
Yes…yes. Whatever, I’ll tell you later.

To: Arthur Pratdragon  
From: Merlin  
9:35 AM  
And ladies and gentlemen, that’s why Arthur Pendragon is named Arthur Pratdragon in my contacts.

  
From: Arthur Pratdragon  
To: Merlin  
9:36 AM  
Wait…what? What happened to ‘Handsome Blond Boyfriend’ ???

To: Arthur Pratdragon  
From: Merlin  
9:38 AM  
Hah! I knew it! You were the one who changed your contacts name to that! And you said the drunk me did that!

From: Arthur Pratdragon  
To: Merlin  
9:38 AM  
No comment.

To: Arthur Pratdragon  
From: Merlin  
9:40 AM  
No comment, my arse.

From: Arthur Pratdragon  
To: Merlin  
9:50 AM  
Hey.

To: Arthur Pratdragon  
From: Merlin  
9:50 AM  
Yes?

From: Arthur Pratdragon  
To: Merlin  
9:51 AM  
I love you.

To: Artuhr Pratdragon  
From: Merlin  
9:51 AM  
I love you too.

 

**iv. Arthur**

 

Merlin blinked as he stared at Arthur. 

Arthur though was certain this was the solution. 

“I don’t…get it,” Merlin said as he watched Arthur with wary eyes. “Like…I can swim though.”

“Yes,” Arthur said as he munched on another crisp. Merlin made a face at the crisp he was eating. It was unhealthy and for a well-known swimmer, it might look weird that Arthur wasn’t obsessed with a healthier diet. But Arthur just didn’t, so he rolled his eyes and ignored the looks Merlin gave him. “But you don’t know how to _really_ swim.”

Merlin shook his head as he draped over the other side of their sofa. “I still don’t get it.”

Arthur licked his fingers from the salt and sat straighter. “You can’t swim, not properly anyway.”

“And I’m asking you; what does that supposed to mean?” Merlin asked. “I mean, I coach the swim team, Arthur. Of course I know _how_ to swim.”

“Not properly,” Arthur tutted. “You don’t embrace the water.”

Merlin froze for a second and when he looked at Arthur, the blond knew that his lover understood what he meant. Merlin immediately frowned. 

“You’re going to teach me to… _love_ the water,” Merlin said, slowly. Arthur nodded. 

“Exactly,” Arthur said. “You can swim, yeah. But you don’t see the water as something to love and at the end, when you get in the water, you might as well be saying you can’t swim with how much you flail around.”

“I can swim,” Merlin said. “When you don’t throw me into the water.”

“But that’s just it,” Arthur said. “You’re not supposed to think when you want to swim. It’s supposed to be engrained in you once you learn the skill. Like how to read and write. You don’t think about those, do you? You do it. Why? Because it’s a part of you. And just like that, swimming is supposed to be a _part_ of you. But you don’t love the water. You hate it, in fact. And in return, the water hates you.”

“That’s,” Merlin began but then he closed his mouth. Arthur watched his lover’s brain working before he sighed, defeated. Arthur looked at him in triumph. “You know _why_ I can’t love the water.”

“I know,” Arthur said, his voice soft. “But you need to let it go, that hurt and fear the water caused you. Like your therapist said. You gotta embrace your fear.”

“That’s why I got this job,” Merlin said as he ran his fingers through his hair. 

Arthur licked his lips. “It didn’t help much, did it?” Arthur pointed out, knowing he was dangerously close to crossing a line he shouldn’t. But thankfully, Merlin didn’t get offended. Instead, not so thankfully, he looked— _broken_. Arthur immediately tossed the bag of crisps on the coffee table and hauled Merlin into his arms. 

Merlin hugged him right back, burying his face on Arthur’s shoulder. “So, you’ll help me love the water?”

“I’ll make you see,” Arthur said. “That the water isn’t bad. That it can help you heal. And it might be hard at first but—I’ll be there, helping you.”

Merlin quietened for a while before he nodded against Arthur. “Help me then,” Merlin said, shaking a bit. “I’m so tired of fearing for my life every time I see the water, Arthur.”

“I know, love,” Arthur whispered. “We’ll start soon, okay? How about this weekend? You don’t have to coach anyone on Saturdays, right?”

Merlin pulled away to look at Arthur before he gave him a weak smile. Arthur kissed his forehead and smiled back, filled with support. “Yeah,” Merlin said. “I’m scared.”

“I’ll be here,” Arthur said as he pushed Merlin’s head against his shoulder again. “I’ll always be here for you.”

Merlin took in a deep breath. “Okay, okay. This Saturday then. Let’s give it a shot.”

Arthur smiled, relieved. “Thank you, Merlin.”

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Merlin said. “I might decide to quit after the first time.”

“And I’ll still be here, supporting you,” Arthur promised and he held Merlin tight, listening to him cry in fear. He didn’t say anything. He could only comfort him with kisses and caresses. 

 

**v. Merlin**

 

It was _the_ Saturday. Merlin wasn’t sure if he could do this after all. He knew Arthur was proud of him for giving this a shot but all Merlin felt was this sudden dread. He stared at the pool where the water rippled peacefully. But to Merlin, it was like it was just _waiting_ for Merlin to put his legs in before it could attack him. 

Arthur touched his shoulder, jolting Merlin away from his thoughts. He looked at Arthur and smiled weakly. Arthur smiled back before he ran his fingers through the dark hair, calming Merlin down. He was already ready, shirtless and wearing his pair of tight navy blue swimming shorts. Merlin was too, even if he felt uneasy, wearing a pair of tight water-proof swimming trunks as well. 

Arthur walked to the shallowest part of the pool and called Merlin over. Merlin walked to where Arthur was, his chest heaving up and down in anxiousness. He could feel the beginnings of a panic attack strumming underneath his skin. Arthur glanced at him from the corner of his eyes before he leaned down and kissed him on his lips. 

Merlin kissed him back immediately before he pulled away. Arthur watched him for a while before he turned to walk down the metallic ladder into the water. The water rippled the more Arthur moved before he began swimming. Then, he swam closer to Merlin and held a hand out. 

“Come on,” Arthur said, a soft smile on his face. Merlin hesitated. He even took a step backwards. Arthur licked his lips and swam a bit closer until he was at the edge of the pool. His right hand was still outstretched. “Come on, hold my hand. I promise to keep you safe.”

Merlin chewed his bottom lip before he took a cautious step forward. And then he took another step and finally he crouched down to touch Arthur’s hand. Arthur smiled wider, a look of encouragement entered his eyes. Next, he began to gently pull Merlin forward. 

Merlin’s breath hitched and his eyes widened. Arthur stopped moving for a second before he pulled Merlin again, this time it was barely a tug. It was more of a plea. Merlin slowly started to descend the ladder, shuddering as the water enveloped him. 

Arthur immediately pushed Merlin against the pool side and bracket him against it. Merlin took in a deep breath, leaning against Arthur’s chest as he let his feet kick to keep him afloat. 

“You okay?” Arthur asked as his breath washed against Merlin’s ear. Merlin slowly turned around and touched Arthur’s shoulders. Arthur looked at him, scanning his face before he leaned in close and kissed him again. 

Merlin let himself be swept away in Arthur’s kisses before he pulled away, shaking his head. “I don’t want to drown,” Merlin joked but it came out weak. Arthur nudged his nose against Merlin’s, causing the brunet to look at him. 

“You won’t,” Arthur said as a promise. Merlin’s chest warmed and the slight panic vanished under Arthur’s strong gaze. 

“So…what do we do now?” Merlin asked. Arthur nodded as he started to pull away. Merlin remained where he was, watching Arthur swimming backwards until he was a few feet away from him. 

“Come to me,” Arthur said. 

Merlin blinked before he rolled his eyes. “Arthur, I do know how to swim,” Merlin said as he did what Arthur wanted. It took him a minute to get to Arthur, holding onto his hands. Arthur interlaced their fingers together before his face smoothed down to seriousness. 

Suddenly, Merlin felt nervous. 

“Arthur?” Merlin asked, unsure. 

Arthur searched his face before he licked his lips. “I need you to trust me with this.”

“I trust you,” Merlin said, immediately. 

Arthur smiled at that before he shook his head. “I need you trust me, fully. Without any reservations. Just follow my lead.”

Merlin furrowed his eyebrows, the nervousness bloomed into anxiety. He had an inkling to what Arthur wanted to do and he didn’t know how to feel about that. But Arthur had always taken care of him and there was no reason not to believe Arthur now. 

So, he nodded. “I do trust you,” Merlin said, his voice honest. “With my life.”

Arthur nodded, kissing Merlin again for a second before he pulled away. “Alright then,” Arthur said and then he took a deep breath. “Take a deep breath, hold your breath and don’t panic, okay?”

Merlin’s suspicions were confirmed when Merlin was suddenly pulled into the water with Arthur the minute he held his breath. Merlin’s immediate response was to kick and flail, to swim to the surface as his muscles lost its coordination. But then before the flashes of laughter and the dark murky water of his school’s pool water could make him panic even more, strong arms wrapped around him. Merlin held onto those arms even if he was still panicking. 

Halfway, he shook his head and thumped on Arthur’s back a few times, closing his eyes tight, feeling like he was trapped and he let go of his breath. Before he knew it, Arthur immediately pulled them up to the surface and gripped Merlin’s face, making him to look at the blue eyes. 

“I’m fine,” Merlin coughed, taking in shuddering breaths. “I’m fine, Arthur. Promise.”

“Okay, okay,” Arthur said, his voice gentle as he rubbed the water from Merlin’s eyes with a swipe of his thumbs. “How do you feel?”

“A bit shaken up,” Merlin said, honestly. “I still panicked.”

“It’s fine,” Arthur assured. 

“I tried,” Merlin said, his voice cracking as disappointment flooded in him. Despite his reservations, he had wanted this to work. He didn’t want to feel scared of the water anymore. He wanted to be able to embrace his love for swimming without dark thoughts threatening to take over his mind. 

Arthur continued to caress Merlin’s face. “You did good,” Arthur said. “It’s fine. It’s just your first try.”

Merlin knew Arthur was right but he still felt disappointed. Arthur shook his face gently, making Merlin smile. It never failed to make him smile when Arthur did that. “I…I don’t know if I can try again.”

“Okay,” Arthur said and Merlin looked at him. Arthur didn’t look disappointed or resigned. In fact, he looked understanding. As if there was another way to help Merlin and this was just one of many. Merlin’s heart raced at that and he shook his head. His heart calmed down and he sighed. 

“One last time,” Merlin whispered. 

Arthur nodded, and again, he didn’t question anything but merely accepting Merlin’s decision. Merlin didn’t know if it was even possible to fall more in love with him but right at that moment, he did. He wished they were on land so he could lunge at the blond and kiss him breathless. 

“I love you,” Merlin breathed out. Arthur grinned. 

“I love you too,” Arthur said. “Now, want to give it another shot?”

“Yeah,” Merlin said and took in a deep breath before releasing it. “Alright, whenever you think I’m ready.”

Arthur took that as a cue to watch him properly and then he said, “Alright, take a deep breath and hold it. Don’t panic and—think of me. I’m right here. I won’t let you drown. I’ll keep you safe. I’ll always keep you safe.”

Merlin let the words sink into his mind and he nodded. “Okay, I trust you.”

He eyed Merlin before he nodded as well. Merlin took that as his cue to take in a deep breath and hold his breath. Within seconds, he was underwater again. Panic once more threatened to take over his mind and limbs but when he felt hands on his face, looking up to see blue eyes looking right back at him, he felt himself relaxing. All the panic melted away as he continued to stare at Arthur and how— _majestic_ he looked underwater. 

With his blond hair floating about in the water and his eyes wide and searching his face, Merlin almost breathed out in shock at how different Arthur looked. 

It was like he was another person. 

He looked like he belonged here, in the water. 

Merlin gasped and Arthur immediately dragged him back to the surface. Merlin coughed and took in shuddering breaths before he was dragged into Arthur’s arms as they swam back to the edges of the pool. Arthur pulled out of the water to sit at the edge, pulling Merlin up with him. Merlin took in a few deep breaths and wiped his face from the water. 

“Hey, you okay?” Arthur said, touching his hair. 

Merlin nodded, still feeling speechless. “I want to do it again,” Merlin said, at last. 

Arthur looked a bit perplexed but he nodded anyway. “What happened down there? You looked alright and then you panicked—”

“I didn’t panic,” Merlin said, his voice hushed like he was telling him a secret. Arthur blinked, confused. Merlin scooted closer until Arthur leaned closer to him. “I saw you for the first time in the water.”

Arthur blinked a few more times before he tilted his head to one side. “Uhm, alright?”

“You don’t get it,” Merlin said, his eyes wide and shimmering. “I saw how you looked like underwater for the first time.”

Arthur smiled, looking amused at Merlin’s awe. “And how did I look?”

“Like a prince,” Merlin breathed out, his cheeks flushing. Arthur pinked a bit as well but he looked pleased. 

“Ah, I got called that a few times.” Arthur nodded and Merlin slapped his arm. Arthur chuckled before he looped a hand around Merlin’s shoulders and dragged him close. 

“I fell in love with you again when I saw how you looked like underwater,” Merlin confessed. Arthur hummed. 

“I fall in love with you all over again every time you surprise me,” Arthur whispered in his ear. When Merlin looked at him, Arthur was already looking back at him and their noses brushed. “And guess what? I fell in love with you again just now.”

Merlin cupped his cheek and kissed him. His heart thundered against his chest and his whole body tingled every time Arthur touched him. Arthur kissed him back just as hard and powerful as Merlin gave. When they broke apart, they were both breathing harshly but they had identical smitten smiles on their faces. 

“Help me,” Merlin said and Arthur understood him perfectly, just like he always did. 

“Always,” Arthur promised and he kissed him again.

 

**vi. Arthur**

 

The progress took time. But it was working because Merlin looked better, more confident about his coaching than before. Some of his students even gave him weird looks and Arthur couldn’t help but to smile proudly at how much Merlin was becoming better. 

Arthur was lingering around at the pool, running his own laps as he watched Merlin coaching his students as usual. He swam three laps before he let himself float on his back. He smiled as he listened to Merlin talking to one of his students, eyes shimmering in mirth. 

Arthur snorted when his student just looked a bit confused and unsure of Merlin. 

They were so stupid. How did they get selected for the national team, Arthur will never understand. They rarely respected Merlin and they thought Merlin didn’t know what he was doing even when his achievements were always printed on paper or pasted all over the Centre’s bulletin boards. 

Especially that kid, Anderson. He grated Arthur’s nerves like nobody’s business. From conceding looks thrown at Merlin to the blatant defiance. 

Arthur had half a mind to teach the boy a lesson himself. Merlin looked up from his student, eyeing Arthur before he grinned and waved. Arthur waved back at him, lazily. Some of his students stopped what they were doing to look at him. 

Arthur snorted again. 

“Merlin, ask your students to stop staring at me,” Arthur shouted at Merlin from across the pool. Almost instantly, the swimmers looked away and went back to their training. 

Just then, he heard someone swimming close to him. Arthur sighed and tilted himself back to his feet and caught the green eyes of the infamous troublemaker and the bane of Merlin’s—therefore in extension Arthur’s—existence. 

“Mr Pendragon,” Anderson said, a cocky grin on his face. Arthur resisted the urge to dunk this kid underwater and let him flail so he could have his own taste of medicine on how Merlin must have felt weeks ago. 

“Yeah?” Arthur said, not bothering to hide his bored tone. Anderson didn’t seem to be affected by it. 

Or he was just that dumb at picking up clues. He wasn’t sure which was which yet. 

“I just wanted to ask you something,” Anderson said. Arthur sighed and waved a hand at him before he swam to the edge of the pool, heaving himself up on the edge so he could sit on it. Anderson did the same, sitting next to him. 

“Shoot,” Arthur said, his eyes trained on Merlin who was now busy instructing that same dumb student on how to do proper strokes for a Butterfly. 

“You’ve been friends with Coach Emrys for quite some time, right?” Anderson asked, his voice careful. Arthur nodded, tensing. 

“What of it?” Arthur asked. 

“Just, I wanted to know if…,” Anderson began before he stopped. 

“If…?” Arthur asked, glancing at the boy before he looked back at Merlin, who now looked relieved when the dumb student managed to get the strokes right when he followed Merlin’s instructions. 

“If he can swim at all,” Anderson blurted out. Arthur tore his gaze away from Merlin to look at Anderson with a weird look on his face. 

“Of course he can swim!” Arthur said. “Where did you get the idea he can’t?”

“Well,” Anderson said with a shrug. “He almost drowned that day.”

Arthur held back the growl that threatened to escape his throat. “Yeah, well, you threw him in the water. Anyone would panic and drown.” _You arse_ , he added in his mind. 

Anderson had the gall to snort. “Yeah, sure,” Anderson said as he glanced at Arthur from the corner of his eyes. “If he knew how to swim, he wouldn’t have almost drowned.”

“Anderson,” Arthur said, his voice rough. “Don’t disrespect your coach like that. Especially if he’s the one who has the power to keep you on the team or let you go.”

Anderson had blanched at that and Arthur, frustrated at this dumb boy, pushed himself into the water and started to swim towards Merlin and the other dumb boy. 

“Piss off,” Arthur said as he shooed the boy away. Merlin squawked as he glared at Arthur. 

“Oi,” Merlin said as he pointed at Dumb Boy #2 who seemed relieved and went to take a break. “I was coaching him!”

“Yeah and I’m missing you,” Arthur retorted as he folded his forearms on the edge of the pool, placing his chin on it with an innocent smile on his face. Merlin, who was on his knees, grumbled. 

“Arthur, not here,” Merlin chided. “I’m a professional.”

“I am too,” Arthur protested. “Look, that’s not really why I came here.”

Merlin looked at him in disbelief and that’s fair. Arthur bugged him for less. “No, really,” Arthur said before he jabbed his chin over his shoulders. “Your star student is probably plotting against you. He’s adamant that you can’t swim.”

Merlin sighed and rubbed his face. “I’m seriously thinking of suspending him from the team. Maybe hold him off until he gets his attitude right.”

“I second that!” Arthur beamed. He liked that idea. Merlin simply rolled his eyes. 

“But I can’t,” Merlin stressed out. “Because even though he’s rude as fuck, he’s still the best out of this team.”

Arthur huffed. “That says something about the quality of our swimmers. It’s like they’re scouting for more idiots every year!”

“Arthur!” Merlin scolded, his voice low in a hiss. “They’re my students.”

Arthur shrugged. “Anyway, you should watch out for that green-eyed prick over there. I know I am.”

Merlin nodded before he patted Arthur’s arms. “I have to go see Emerett about his Butterfly strokes. That boy is awful at it and yet he won’t take my advice.”

Arthur huffed again as he pushed himself away from the edge of the pool. “Like I said, they’re idiots. You’re coaching idiots.”

This time, Merlin didn’t argue. He just chuckled, his shoulders shaking. Arthur took that as Merlin agreeing with him.

 

**vii. Merlin**

 

Cenred popped out of nowhere. 

One day Arthur was the best swimmer known in the world and the next, Cenred was head-butting with him and managing to win against Arthur in a few competitions. Merlin didn’t think much of Cenred at first but he began to think twice about him when he noticed that Arthur had started to feel threatened. 

His lover started to practise until late nights. He would double up his warm ups and training with his coach and occasionally, whenever Merlin wasn’t coaching his own team, Arthur would ask him to time him and review his strokes. 

Arthur even began to eat healthier. No more crisps or colas. 

It was beginning to worry him. 

“Arthur,” Merlin said as he struggled to breathe, clutching on Arthur’s shoulders as they surfaced. It was their usual Saturday ‘training’ with Arthur helping Merlin stay underwater for longer than a few seconds without panicking. It was becoming easier for Merlin to let the water embrace him after almost three months of this. He still had bad days where he couldn’t even think anything calming the minute he touched the water but Merlin began to notice that those days were becoming lesser and lesser the longer he let Arthur drag him underwater and make him stay in the quiet. 

“You okay?” Arthur asked, his strong hands touched his cheeks, serious eyes boring into his icy blue ones. Merlin nodded and Arthur pulled away, swimming back a bit to give the brunet some space. “So, want to try again?”

“No,” Merlin said and shook his head. “I think I’ve done enough for now.”

Arthur nodded and smiled, pecking his forehead before he gestured to the side of the pool. “Go on then, go and sit.”

Merlin nodded and swam to the edges of the pool, grabbing the towel that was left there on the handles of the metal ladders. He wrapped his fluffy pink towel around him and watched as Arthur started to swim some laps. Merlin frowned. 

“What are you doing?” Merlin asked. 

Arthur didn’t answer him until he finished one lap and then he looked at Merlin. “Training,” Arthur said, mildly confused. 

Merlin frowned deeper, tightening his grip on his towel. “Why?” Merlin asked. 

Arthur swam a bit closer to Merlin until he touched Merlin’s legs that were in the water. He caressed his ankles and slid his wet hands until they reached his shins and then squeezed them. Merlin shifted where he sat a bit, biting his lip as redness bloomed on his cheeks. His stomach flustered at the gentle touches. 

“Because,” Arthur said, humouring him with a smile. “I have a competition next week. That’s why.”

Arthur watched him all the while rubbing his fingers on Merlin’s shins before he dragged his hands upwards a bit more until they settled on Merlin’s bony knees. Merlin sighed and looked at Arthur with adisapproval look on his face. 

“Arthur,” Merlin said. “You’ll do fine. Don’t push yourself too hard.”

Arthur shook his head as he leaned his forehead and placed them on Merlin’s right knee. His grip on Merlin’s leg increased until Merlin winced, knowing he would be having finger-shaped bruises there. Merlin didn't mind said bruises under different circumstances, but not now. He tried to pull his legs out of the water but Arthur held them tight in a death grip. 

“Arthur,” Merlin scolded but he didn’t resist the urge to run his fingers through the wet blond hair, pushing away strands of hair backwards to reveal his forehead. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

Arthur snorted, looking at Merlin before he pressed his lips on Merlin’s knees. “ _Honey_?” Arthur asked, amused. “Since when do you call me Honey?”

“Since you wouldn’t respond to your name,” Merlin groused, embarrassed as he looked away, tugging on his towel a bit closer around his body. Arthur hummed under his breath before he pulled himself out of the water to sit next to him. Merlin immediately grabbed over another towel for Arthur, pushing his lover’s hands away when Arthur tried to hold it. “Let me.”

Arthur raised his eyebrows but he let Merlin rub his hair with the towel and pat his chest dry. Arthur seized Merlin’s wrists and dragged him close until Merlin was in danger of sitting on his lap. Merlin squawked, blinking his surprised wide eyes at Arthur. 

“I think I should call you Darling,” Arthur said with a mischievous grin. Merlin coloured at the nickname and frowned, pouting. 

“You idiot,” Merlin said with a fond sigh. Arthur chuckled and let his wrists go to cradle Merlin’s face, gazing at him with something in his eyes that sent Merlin’s heart racing. Arthur thinned his lips as he searched Merlin’s face and the brunet started to feel uncomfortable under his gaze. “What?” Merlin whispered. 

“Nothing,” Arthur said as he leaned in close and brushed their noses. “I just love you, a lot. And I’ll always do my best to keep you happy and safe.”

Merlin smiled at him, his cheeks flushed again as his heart raced in his chest. He thumped Arthur’s chest, bashfully as he looked at Arthur in the eyes. “I know,” Merlin told him. 

Arthur sighed and pulled away, gathering the towel and scrubbing his face with sudden ferocity, taking Merlin off guard with the sudden change of mood. 

“Arthur?” Merlin asked, wary. 

“I’m fine,” Arthur said. “I’m just tired.”

“Well, of course you are,” Merlin said. “You’ve been training your arse of—for something that won’t usually take you more than a month to get ready for.”

“I need to win this,” Arthur grumbled, his shoulders tensing. “I can’t lose now.”

Merlin licked his lips, furrowing his eyebrows, confused. “You won’t,” Merlin said. 

Arthur scoffed, dropping the towel on his lap as he stared straight ahead, his jaw clenched tight. “Who knows?” Arthur said, his voice dripping in bitterness. Merlin raised his eyebrows at that, surprised. 

“Arthur?” Merlin said as he placed a tentative hand on Arthur’s elbow. “Is something bothering you?”

Arthur remained quiet before his shoulders slumped. “I’m fine,” Arthur said as he glanced at the brunet and gave him a weak smile. Merlin wasn’t convinced but he knew Arthur wasn’t ready to tell him, not when he was showing signs of defensiveness. And if Merlin poked him more, it would only end up in an argument. 

Merlin will figure this out on his own though. 

“Okay,” Merlin whispered, cautiously. Arthur then pushed himself to stand up before he held out his hand for Merlin to take.

“Come on, I’m starving,” Arthur said, grinning. Merlin smiled back but it came out slightly uneasy as he took Arthur’s hand and let himself be pulled to stand. 

He didn’t say anything whenever Arthur spaced out while Merlin talked or tensed when Merlin touched him. 

But secretly, Merlin was beginning to get even more worried about him. 

 

**viii. Arthur**

 

Arthur let himself float backwards on the water. He stared at the darkened ceiling. He had trained for the past four hours and it was nearing midnight. But he didn’t want to get out of the water, not yet. Not when his muscles weren’t hurting yet. 

He sighed. 

He knew Merlin was worried. But he couldn’t tell him anything, not yet. 

He still remembered Cenred’s smirk when he won the previous competition and the mock in his words when he said those things that set Arthur’s blood in fire. He had wanted to tackle Cenred to the ground and give him a punch or two. 

_“Well, look at that,” Cenred had said, sauntering towards him in the changing rooms after the competition ended, his towel wrapped around his waist. “Lost again to me, a newbie.”_

_Arthur didn’t let the comment get to him. He knew that one day, there would be someone out there trying to beat him and when that time came, Arthur would take it all in stride. He would just have to work harder to stay at the top, no biggie. Cenred wasn’t the first to try and Cenred won’t be the first to fail at beating Arthur._

_Cenred hummed, seemingly unaffected that Arthur was ignoring him. Arthur looked through his locker, trying to push his silver medal into his bag with the rest of the clothes. He smiled when he found the photograph he usually brought with him everywhere, a photograph he would kill anyone for if he found out they took it._

_It was a picture of Merlin and him, laughing at the camera. Arthur remembered that day like it was just yesterday. It had been their first anniversary together. Merlin had tried to cook something for them but ended up burning the chicken and at the end, Arthur, who forgot to make reservations to Merlin’s favourite restaurant, ended up bringing him to a small restaurant he found by accident. That was the day Arthur made the vow to protect Merlin from everything and anything and keep him happy always and Merlin had smiled like he was being proposed to._

_Arthur’s heart skipped a beat at that thought._

_“Huh, is that Merlin Emrys?” Cenred asked, looking at the photo. Arthur tensed and immediately shoved the photograph, a bit crumpled at the edges, into his bag. Possessiveness flared in him at the thought of someone else seeing the photograph. It was his lucky charm and it always reminded him that he had a family waiting back home, the love of his life._

_“None of your business,” Arthur said, zipping his bag up._

_“Right,” Cenred said as he leaned against his own locker. “Say, I’m curious about something. I heard rumours among my—colleagues—that you and Emrys are dating.”_

_Arthur hummed back, not answering Cenred as he swung his bag over his shoulders. He closed the locker door but knew that he couldn’t walk away, not when Cenred blocked his path with a determined look on his face._

_“What, not going to deny it?” he asked with a sneer. Arthur shrugged._

_“Speculate all you want,” Arthur said, his usual answer to when people asked the nature of his relationship with Merlin. “Think whatever you want.”_

_Cenred thinned his lips, looking a bit more bothered than before. Then, he smiled, a nasty smile on his lips. Arthur felt himself tense at that. “Also, I heard rumours about Emrys’s past.”_

_Arthur held himself back from immediately defending Merlin._

_“Something about how he was bullied a lot in high school,” Cenred said, nonchalantly. “How he almost died in Year 12 when the bullies thought it would be funny to tie weight to his feet, restrain his hands and send him flailing into the school’s pool.”_

_Arthur almost pushed Cenred against the lockers, wanting to demand how he knew about that. No one actually knew the specifics of Merlin’s past and Merlin didn’t want anyone to know either. People knew the basics, how he was bullied and almost drowned because of said bullies but no one knew that the reason he became a swim coach wasn’t because he wanted to prove the bullies wrong. No, it was more because he wanted to force himself to see the water and try to overcome the huge fear—a fear that no one else but Arthur and Merlin’s family knew—of water, of drowning._

_“Some say he became traumatised of the water,” Cenred mused. Arthur stopped himself from showing too much emotion on his face. “And that you became his saviour, his hero.”_

_“Rumours,” Arthur said, faking a relaxed tone. “You know how they are.”_

_Cenred narrowed his eyes. “Indeed,” he said and then he took a step forward. His eyes flashed and Arthur had a huge urge to slap Cenred across his face. “But you know, if the rumours are true, Arthur…,” he said and stopped. “You might want to step up your game.”_

_Arthur furrowed his eyebrows, confused._

_Cenred tutted, feigning worry. “If you can’t even beat a newbie in a sports you—oh what was it?—yes, born into, don’t you think it’ll be hard to protect Merlin from drowning from the same water that you can’t conquer?”_

_Arthur was left standing there as Cenred grabbed his clothes from his locker and walked away, all suave and confident. Arthur had pushed away those words, knowing that he couldn’t let them get to him._

_His abilities to swim in a competition and when casual were two different things. When it came down to it, Arthur will always save Merlin. No matter if he won a million competitions or not._

_But, at the end of the day, all he could think about was: If he wasn’t the best anymore, then what makes him think he’ll be the best to save Merlin when he needs him to? He failed to save Merlin once, after all._

Arthur sighed again, closing his eyes momentarily before he opened them back up. He heard his phone ringing from a distance. He pushed his body upright and swam lazily to the front of the pool, grabbing his phone that sealed in a ziplock bag. 

He smiled when he realised it was Merlin. He answered the call immediately. 

“Mr Pendragon speaking,” Arthur teased. 

“Well, Mr Pendragon,” Merlin said, his voice drawled and Arthur could sense a hint of sleepiness in his words. There was a pang of guilt in him, knowing he was unintentionally forcing Merlin to sleep without him at nights. “When are you coming back home?”

_Home_. 

Arthur’s heart thumped at the word before he felt guilty again.

“Not so soon, love,” Arthur said. He heard Merlin sigh. 

“Where are you then?” Merlin asked. Arthur didn’t answer him but he knew Merlin knew where he was when Merlin groaned. “Arthur,” he whined. Arthur smiled at that. “Come home.”

“I will,” Arthur promised. “Later.”

Merlin huffed. Arthur could imagine the pout he would be wearing. “Fine, I’m coming over there then.”

Arthur shook his head. “No, you need to sleep. I’ll be back home soon.”

“Oh, and you don’t need sleep?” Merlin snapped. Arthur kept quiet, knowing he couldn’t fight Merlin back now, not when the brunet’s mind was made up. “I’m coming over. If you’re not sleeping, I’m not either.”

“Merlin,” Arthur began but was cut off by Merlin. 

“Shut up,” Merlin said. Arthur heard clothes rustling in the background. “I’ll see you in thirty minutes.”

Arthur didn’t say anything as the line went dead. He sighed and tossed his phone back into the ziplock bag and pushed himself back to the middle of the pool. Well, while he waited for Merlin, he might as well continue practising. 

 

**ix. Merlin**

 

Merlin watched as Arthur swam a few more laps, breathing harshly every time he reached where Merlin stood, a timer in his hands. Merlin was exhausted. After he had stormed to see Arthur with a sole purpose of dragging his lover from the water, Arthur managed to convince him to help him practise instead and here they were, two hours later. 

“Time,” Arthur panted out as he gripped at the edge of the pool, dragging his goggles from his eyes up his head. 

“Good enough,” Merlin said as he shoved the timer in his sweatpants pockets. Arthur frowned.

“Time, Merlin,” he gritted out, his eyes flashed in slight annoyance. It grated Merlin’s nerve. To spite Arthur more, Merlin purposely acted dumb and looked at his wrist watch. 

“It’s two in the morning,” Merlin said. 

Arthur groaned and slumped his forehead on the pool edge. “Merlin,” he said.

Merlin crouched down and sighed. “Arthur, enough,” he said. “Let’s go home. You need to let your muscles relax. Your competition is in two days.”

“Yes, I know,” Arthur said as he looked up to see Merlin. “But I have to—”

Merlin shook his head, done with Arthur’s stubbornness. “No,” he said, testily. “Let’s go home. You’re done for today. You did excellent. Better than last time. Let’s go to bed, please.”

Arthur looked at him properly before his lips thinned. “If you’re tired, then go home,” he snapped and pulled down his goggles to his eyes. Merlin wanted to cry. He had never seen Arthur this stressed before and it was freaking him out. He grabbed the goggles and ignored Arthur’s cry when he pulled it off his head along with his swimming cap, knowing that he accidentally pulled a few hair strands from how rough he removed it.

“What the fuck?” Arthur screeched, angry. Merlin winced at the volume and stood up, a bit drowsy from the sleepiness. 

“Let’s go home,” Merlin said, crossing his arms against his chest. Arthur stared at him indecorously. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said and there was a hint of warning in his voice that stilled Merlin. He had never heard Arthur using that tone on him before. He clenched his jaw, feeling angry. 

“What?” Merlin exclaimed, startling Arthur. “What? You gonna yell at me again?”

“Merlin, I’m in no mood to deal with your—”

“With my what?” Merlin snapped, his eyes filling up with tears from the exhaustion and hurt. “With what, Arthur? With how much I care for you?”

Arthur closed his mouth and shook his head. “You don’t understand,” Arthur growled under his breath, running a hand through his wet hair. 

“Then explain it to me,” Merlin said, his breath hitching. “Why are you pushing yourself like this, Arthur?”

“Just, Merlin, please,” Arthur said, his voice softened to a plea. “Let me train, okay? Please.”

“No,” Merlin said, stubbornly. “You’ll fall sick if you go on like this.”

“Goddamnit, Merlin!” Arthur yelled, startling Merlin. He pushed himself out of the water and stormed towards the brunet, body wet. He grabbed Merlin’s shoulders and shook him. “Why won’t you fucking understand that I need to do this? Stop getting in my way!”

Merlin bit his bottom lip from wobbling as a few tears escaped his eyes. Arthur stiffened and pulled his hands away from him. Merlin shook his head and shoved the goggles and cap against Arthur’s chest.

“Fine,” Merlin spit out, wiping the tears away. “Fine, whatever. Come home or not, I don’t care anymore.”

Arthur let him walk away and he didn’t chase after him or hold him like he usually did whenever Merlin grew upset. And that fact hurt Merlin more as he walked out of the building, taking in shuddering breaths as he got into his car and went back home, to an empty apartment for the umpteenth time. 

He missed Arthur. 

 

**x. Arthur**

 

“You idiot!” Morgana yelled as she slapped a hand across Arthur’s shoulders. He rubbed his arm as he sighed, looking at Elly as his five-years-old niece watched the tele. He was in the kitchen with Morgana, who had pulled the reason why he was so somber today out of him. 

“Morgana,” Arthur began but Morgana shook her head.

“You can’t do this to him, Arthur,” Morgana said, her voice soft. “He loves you. It’ll only hurt him if he found out that the reason you’re driving him away and working yourself to death is because of him.”

“I need to protect him,” Arthur reasoned. “I can’t protect him if I’m not the best.”

“Arthur, since when did you become an idiot?” Morgana said. “I mean, I always knew you were an idiot, but I didn’t think you’d be this idiotic.”

Arthur growled. “See? This is why I can’t explain to you! No one understands.”

“He fucking _loves_ you,” Morgana hissed, her voice low. “If he found out you thought like this, what is this going to do to him, huh? It’s going to ruin him, Arthur.”

“That’s why he can’t find out,” Arthur snapped. “I need him to be safe. And if it means—”

“No,” Morgana said with a shake of her head. “It means you need to be healthy, Arthur. Happy. You can’t save Merlin if you yourself is spiralling into nothing. He misses you. He told me he hasn’t seen you since yesterday night.”

“I don’t want him to see me,” Arthur said, his voice hollow. “Not until I’m sure I can keep him safe.”

“God, and all of this because of that newbie,” Morgana said. “So what, Arthur? You know that he only said that because he wanted you to lose. You’re doing a fine job keeping Merlin happy, Arthur. Why are you doubting yourself now?”

“I failed him once, Morgana,” Arthur said, his voice grave. “He almost died. If I had been paying more attention to him, if I had been there like I was supposed to, he wouldn’t have almost drowned and he wouldn’t have this fear of water.”

Morgana remained silent and she touched his shoulder. “You know that isn’t your fault, right?”

“And it isn’t Merlin’s fault, either,” Arthur argued. “I need to keep him safe. If I lose him, Morgana…”

Morgana sighed. “Arthur, at this rate…I’m afraid you’re already beginning to lose him.”

Arthur remained silent at that, his heart aching in his chest but he steeled himself. “I gotta go,” Arthur said. “I have a flight to catch.”

Morgana hugged him tight. “You dumb dumb man,” Morgana whispered in his ear. “Good luck.”

Arthur hugged her tight. 

 

**xi. Merlin**

 

Despite the argument they had two days ago, and with Arthur disappearing off to his competition without even saying goodbye, Merlin still texted him good luck and watched the live stream of the competition in his office. Cenred looked smug and Arthur looked serious. 

Merlin watched with battered breath, confusion welling up inside of him when he spotted amateur mistakes in Arthur’s strokes as he swam. Merlin knew right there and then that he was about to lose. And just like that, the competition was over with Arthur coming in second and Cenred in first. Merlin closed his laptop, pushing it away from him as he sighed loudly. 

He ran a hand down his face and stood up, walking out of his office, fumbling with his smartphone. He knew that his team was about to arrive in thirty minutes but he really needed to speak to Arthur. He was willing to forget what Arthur said if he explained what was going on. 

Twenty minutes later, Merlin called him. He paced the room, watching as two of his students came into the stadium and headed to the changing rooms with a nod at his direction. His phone call went straight into voicemail. Merlin bit his bottom lip. 

“Arthur, it’s…it’s me,” Merlin said after the beep. “Call me back. Please?”

Merlin pulled his phone away from his ears. He shoved his phone into his shorts pockets. He walked back to his office and grabbed his clipboard and whistle. All the while Merlin was conducting his training, he couldn’t stop thinking about Arthur. 

But that didn’t mean he didn’t notice Anderson shooting looks at him every time he thought Merlin wasn’t looking. 

Halfway, Merlin got fed up of the glances and marched up to him. “What?” he asked Anderson, who pushed his goggles up and stared at him. 

“I saw the competition,” Anderson said with a frown. Merlin raised his eyebrows, impatiently waiting for him to continue speaking. “He lost.” 

Merlin’s fingers twitched in slight anger when Anderson looked disgusted at that. “Yes,” Merlin said, his voice blank. 

“He never loses,” Anderson said. “He’s been losing these past few competitions ever since Cenred appeared.”

“He’s just going through a rough patch,” Merlin said out, sounding bitter. Anderson looked at him before he rolled his eyes. 

“I saw you two, you know,” Anderson said, catching Merlin’s attention. “He trained with you whenever no one is around. You would time him. Maybe he failed because you didn’t know how to train him.”

Merlin’s eyes widened at the accusation. His grip on the clipboard increased. “What are you saying?” Merlin asked. 

“I’m just saying, Coach,” Anderson sneered. “You don’t even get into the water. How can you be so sure that what you’re teaching is right? Maybe he lost because of you.”

Something about that struck a chord in Merlin’s chest. “Get out,” Merlin said, his voice flat. Anderson looked at him, surprised. 

“What?” he said, laughing in disbelief.

“Get out,” Merlin repeated. “Now. You’re dismissed for today. In fact, I’m taking you out from your competition this week.”

Anderson’s mouth hung wide before he pushed himself out of the water, his shoulders squaring. Merlin took a step back, not allowing the strand of fear that was beginning to coil in his chest to flash in his eyes. No matter what, Anderson was his student, his trainee. Not the other way around. 

Merlin had the power.

He just needed to remind himself that so he wouldn’t be afraid looking at Anderson after what he had done. 

“You can’t do that!” Anderson barked, loudly. Some of his students stopped to stare. 

“Yes, yes I can,” Merlin answered, calmly. “I’m the one who decides who could go which competition. You haven’t made anything of yourself yet. I don’t know where this arrogance is coming from but you have to know that anyone with such attitude won’t go anywhere far. That’s all.”

Merlin turned around and walked a few steps when Anderson bellowed, “Oh yeah? Like you?”

Merlin stopped before he rolled his eyes. He had a lot on his mind, he didn’t need Anderson giving him a headache. He continued to walk away and headed to his office. He slammed the door close and slumped on his couch. He lied flat on it before he pulled out his phone and dialled Arthur’s number, frustrated. 

The phone call went into voicemail again.

Merlin called him again. 

And _again_.

Tears gathered in his eyes the longer Arthur refused to answer his calls. At last, he shuddered as he sent a text to him. 

 

To: Arthur Pratdragon  
From: Merlin  
5:08 PM  
I need you.

 

**xii. Arthur**

 

Arthur rubbed the back of his neck as he stepped on England soil again. The first thing he did was switch on his phone and saw missed calls from his Coach and Morgana. His heart stopped beating for a second when he saw a few missed calls from Merlin. He had switched off his phone before the competition and refused to switch it on until he came back home, taking the first flight out of there. 

When Arthur saw the message Merlin left, panic rushed through his veins and he called him. 

It was already eleven in the evening by the time he caught himself a cab back home. 

“Arthur?” Merlin’s groggy voice appeared when the call got connected. Arthur chuckled, breathless and worried.

“Hey,” Arthur said, knowing that they had a huge elephant in the room that they needed to address soon. But for now, Arthur needed to hear his voice and in an hour or so, touch him. 

“Arthur,” Merlin said, his voice shuddering and Arthur’s heart clenched at the telltale signs of him about to cry. 

“Love,” Arthur breathed out and Merlin sighed.

“Why didn’t you answer my calls?” Merlin asked, his voice small. Arthur closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the cool window of the cab. He made Merlin sound like that.

Arthur had hurt him.

God. 

“I’m sorry, I switched my phone off before the competition and I didn’t answer my phone until I got back to England,” Arthur explained. 

Merlin went quiet for a while before he heard rustling noises at the back. “You’re back home?” Merlin asked, sounding hopeful.

“Yeah,” Arthur said, a weak smile on his face. “I’m on my way back home.”

Merlin sucked in a sharp breath before he released it. “Okay,” Merlin said. “Okay, I’ll see you when you’re home then.”

Arthur nodded and pulled away, ending the call. He didn’t want to say he loved Merlin when he wasn’t there to see his reaction to it. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. His muscles felt sore and his mind muddled. 

It was like a punch to the gut when he lost again today. Cenred had looked smug, like he was proving to Arthur that he was right. 

Arthur couldn’t stand the sight, he couldn’t handle the way cameras flashed in his face and microphones to his face, asking him why he was losing and if he had anything else to say now that a newbie was stealing his wins and maybe would even break the records that Arthur had set. 

There was anger a few hours ago and now all that he felt was tiredness. 

The cab pulled in front of the familiar apartment building and Arthur paid him, thanking him for the ride and took his bags with him as he exited the vehicle. He walked tiredly into the elevator and leaned against the cool metallic walls after the doors closed and he had pushed down the button to his floor. 

Merlin was waiting for him when he walked into their apartment. He was wearing one of Arthur’s sweatshirts with a pair of dark blue boxers. He looked fragile and small with the sweatshirt on. Arthur had broad shoulders, making the sweatshirt looked baggy at the top on Merlin, showing off his pronounced collarbones. 

Merlin had his knees tucked under him as he sipped a mug of tea. 

Arthur smiled at that image, he looked so soft there that his heart warmed. He closed the door, earning Merlin’s attention on him. Immediately, the brunet stood up, putting the mug on the coffee table. He didn’t make any moves to come closer though and Arthur didn’t make any moves to do the same. 

It was only after Arthur dropped his bags to the ground that Merlin came crashing into him and Arthur wrapped his arms around his body tight. He dropped down to his knees, dragging Merlin with him until they were embracing each other tightly. 

Merlin shuddered against him and Arthur shushed him, rubbing his back up and down with his right hand while his left cradled his head. Arthur felt his own eyes burning and he buried his nose in Merlin’s hair, breathing in his scent. 

“I don’t like fighting with you,” Merlin choked out, his voice filled with emotion. Arthur slumped down on the ground on his arse, dragging Merlin closer as he hooked his legs around Merlin. 

“Me too,” Arthur said, his voice grave and low. “I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say the things I’ve said to you. You know you can never stand in my way. You’re the only reason why I’m even where I am right now, you know that right? I love you. So goddamn much that it hurts.”

“I love you too,” Merlin answered him as he grabbed Arthur’s jacket tight. “So much. I couldn’t sleep whenever you leave. I can’t help but to wonder at times if I’m being bothersome and hearing you basically confirming that—”

Arthur pulled away and cradled Merlin’s face in a sense of urgency to make him see that Arthur was sorry. Merlin searched his eyes, tears ran down his face. Merlin was chewing his bottom lips and Arthur touched his bottom lip, gently prying it from his teeth. Arthur had wanted to cry right then and there when he saw how sad Merlin looked. 

“You’re never a burden to me, love,” Arthur said,his voice serious even if it sounded wet. “You’re the love of my life.”

“Don’t push me away, please,” Merlin said, a sob clearly got caught in his throat as his breath hitched. 

“I won’t,” Arthur said, voice full of regret. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“Please, let me into your head,” Merlin said as he hugged him again. “What happened to you? Why are you behaving so coldly?”

“I love you,” Arthur could only say as he pressed his lips against Merlin’s neck. “I’ll tell you. I promise. I won’t do this again. God, you have no idea how much I missed you.”

“I miss you too,” Merlin said, his voice pitchy. “So much. Don’t want you to leave again.”

“Shh, I’m here now,” Arthur said, a few tears slipped from his eyes as he placed his forehead on Merlin’s shoulder. “I’m here. I’m not going to leave. Not now, not ever.”

Merlin quietened down after that but his body still shuddered every few minutes. Arthur only held him tight, relishing on the warmth of his lover against his body. 

He had hurt Merlin when he vowed he wouldn’t. He would amend this and the least Merlin was entitled to know was why. 

 

**xiii. Merlin**

 

Merlin watched him from the bed as Arthur came out from the shower wearing nothing but his tight black briefs and a towel drying his semi-wet hair. Merlin blushed red as he let his eyes roam on Arthur’s body. His body had taken a bit more shape since the last time Merlin had seen him naked. 

His shoulders if possible looked stronger and his chest was more defined. His stomach was flat and toned without a hint of the small swell of belly that Arthur usually held because of the crisps he ate in his spare time. 

His legs were stronger looking too and with each movement, Merlin chokes back the flush of arousal at how the muscles moved against his skin. He almost wondered if he could seduce Arthur to touch him, just to feel the weight on him and have the new strength he was sure Arthur had on him. 

Arthur looked at Merlin, his eyes twinkled in a way that screamed he knew what Merlin was thinking about, smirking at his direction. 

“Maybe later,” Arthur said with a chuckle. Merlin blushed again as he looked at the bedsheets, picking at the lavender sheets with his fingers. He heard Arthur chuckling again, clothes rustling before the door to their cupboard closed. 

When Merlin looked at him again, Arthur was fully clothed in his light green teddy-bear printed pyjama pants that Merlin had gifted him on their fourth anniversary of dating as a joke and his worn out university T-shirt. 

Arthur tossed the towel in their laundry bin and walked to their bed, dipping under the sheets before he settled down next to Merlin. 

Merlin then turned to look at him, cheeks still a bit flushed. 

“So,” Arthur began, rubbing his palms together as he leaned close to look at Merlin. “You deserve an explanation.”

“Yes,” Merlin said with a nod. He reached out to touch Arthur’s right hand and the blond immediately interlaced their fingers together. Merlin smiled, relief washing into his chest at that. They were still fine. A bit strained, but still fine. 

When Arthur leaned down to kiss his forehead, Merlin was even more sure they would be fine. 

“First off,” Arthur began, his voice serious. “I need you to know that this isn’t your fault.”

Merlin nodded, accepting that first. He knew it wasn’t really his fault even if Arthur’s words spoken in anger speared through his heart like a hot iron. He still believed Arthur, still trusted him with his life, so he would trust Arthur here and accept that it wasn’t his fault. 

“Second off,” Arthur said and licked his lips, looking a bit nervous. “The reason I trained so hard was because I needed to beat Cenred.”

Merlin looked at him properly, searching his face for any lies but found none. And yet, it still felt like Arthur wasn’t telling the whole truth.

“Alright,” Merlin said, cautiously. “But that’s not the entire reason, is it?”

Arthur smiled, the same smile he gave Merlin whenever Merlin said something witty or smart. Merlin preened under that smile and Arthur chuckled. After a minute, his smile dimmed into something less beautiful. Something that made him look vulnerable and Merlin had never seen Arthur as that before now. 

“Arthur?” Merlin said, eyes wide and searching the blond’s face.

“I wanted to prove to myself that I can save you,” Arthur said. “Keep you safe, I mean.”

Merlin furrowed his eyebrows, confused. He tightened his fingers and Arthur smirked ruefully. 

“What do you mean?” Merlin asked. 

“I,” Arthur began and in horror, Merlin watched his blue eyes filled with tears. Merlin immediately lunged at him, his heart ached as he straddled his lap. Arthur wrapped his arms around his waist just as fast and held him tight. Merlin ran his fingers through Arthur’s wet hair, even more confused. 

“What’s wrong, Arthur?” Merlin asked, his voice strangled. 

“Cenred knows about you,” Arthur blurted out, making Merlin still. 

“What?” Merlin asked, furrowing his eyebrows deeper. “Cenred knows…about what?”

“About the reason you became a national swim coach,” Arthur said. “He knew how you were bullied, the details of it and he knew you hate the water and you’re likely to drown if you get thrown into the water without warning.”

Merlin had grown speechless as he let everything settle in his mind.

“He told me that I will fail at saving you just like how I’m already failing keeping my ranking,” Arthur continued. “I know better than to believe him. I know I shouldn’t let him get to me. But I can’t help it. I couldn’t help but to think: What if he’s right? I had failed you once. You almost died because of that. What’s there to say that I will not fail again? I can’t afford to fail again, Merlin. Not when it concerns you.”

“Arthur,” Merlin croaked out, feeling like his heart was burning. Arthur was going through this all alone because he thought he wasn’t good enough for him. 

Merlin wanted to slap this silly man.

“You fucking idiot,” Merlin choked out, his eyes blurry. He pulled away to look at Arthur in the eyes, sniffing. He touched Arthur’s face and caressed his cheeks. Arthur watched him warily, like he was scared Merlin would agree with Cenred. It hurt his heart. “You’re such an idiot.”

“If I can’t be the best, I’m scared I might stop being the best to keep you safe,” Arthur said. Merlin rarely saw him breaking down like this. Merlin shook his head and shook Arthur’s face like he usually did to cheer Merlin up. 

“You’re the best for me,” Merlin protested. “I don’t care about Cenred, Arthur! He’s wrong! He’s so _so_ wrong.” Arthur opened his mouth but Merlin slapped a hand over them, shaking his head. “No, you listen to me. You’re so stupid for even thinking like that!”

Arthur looked a bit offended. 

Merlin licked his lips and took in a shuddering breath. “You didn’t fail me, Arthur,” Merlin said, his voice soft. “You never once failed me. That incident—it isn't your fault. It’s not yours, alright? It’s not yours. What could you have done anyway? Leave your career behind for me?”

Arthur tore Merlin’s hand from his mouth. “Of course I will! I will leave everything behind if it meant you’re safe and happy,” Arthur said, his voice tense. “How can you even think you’re not that special to me?”

“Then why are you feeling that way about yourself?” Merlin questioned. “How could you even think for a second that you weren’t the best for me? You saved me so many times, Arthur. You always made me happy, even when we get into a fight. You’re the love of my life. No one else is better suited for me than you. You will _never_ fail me.”

“I did though, even before we got together,” Arthur said. “If I had just been a good friend at least, I would have noticed that you were being bullied right under my nose.”

“But you were by my side when you found out anyway,” Merlin said and then he gave Arthur a watery smile. “Don’t think I didn’t find out what happened to my bullies while I was in the hospital.”

Arthur looked stunned at that. 

“I didn’t do anything—”

“Bollocks,” Merlin growled. “You punched them. You almost got arrested because you found them and beat them up. All for me.”

Arthur remained quiet and sighed. “I was so scared I lost you.”

“You won’t,” Merlin said. “I have trust in you that you’ll always save me, Arthur. And even if one day you can’t—no, listen to me,” Merlin scolded when Arthur looked stricken at that possibility. “You have to accept that one day, not even you can save me, Arthur—and it won’t be your fault either. Do you understand what I’m trying to say? You’ll never disappoint me. You’re the best for me.”

Arthur hugged him tight again, his chest heaving up and down and aborted sobs escaped his lips. Merlin let him cry, comforting him just like the million times Arthur had done the same to him. 

“You and I?” Merlin whispered in his ear. “We’re a team, Arthur. Forget anyone else. You’re the reason why I keep trying every Saturday to overcome my fear of being surrounded in water. You’re the biggest reason why I’m happy most of the time. You’re the light of my life and to hear you demoting yourself like that hurts me.”

“I’m sorry,” Arthur whispered wetly back. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I promised myself I wouldn’t and—”

“You just got slightly brainwashed by Cenred,” Merlin said, firmly. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. Please, don’t do this again. If you have any doubts, please just talk to me.”

“I will, I will,” Arthur assured him. Merlin sagged his shoulders. 

“You’ll beat Cenred,” Merlin said. “You have beaten multiple of newbies before. Cenred is no different.”

“He knows about you, though,” Arthur said. Merlin shook his head and pulled away, once again looking into the ocean blue eyes. 

“Arthur,” Merlin said. “With you by my side, the whole world can go against me and I’ll be fine.”

Arthur searched his face before he placed a hand at the back of Merlin’s head and dragged him into a harsh kiss. Merlin kissed him back immediately, looping his arms around Arthur’s neck. 

“Touch me,” Merlin gasped from the kiss, pushed on his back with Arthur hovering above him. “Make love to me. I missed you so much.”

Arthur caressed his cheeks with the swipe of the back of his palm. “I love you so much,” Arthur whispered. “I’ll never pull away from you again.”

And then he swooped down to kiss Merlin once more. 

 

**xiv. Arthur**

 

“He wants you to lose your focus,” Merlin said, munching on his sandwich. Arthur was sitting next to him, on the couch of his office. “So he said those things.”

Arthur hummed, munching on his own sandwich. “You’re right,” Arthur said. He was thinking rationally now after Merlin and him talked it out. Merlin was adamant that Cenred could probably get that information from anywhere when Arthur still pondered how Cenred could have known. 

“Remember,” Merlin pointed out. “There’s even rumours that you’re married to the model, Gwen.”

Arthur made a face at that, eliciting a laugh from Merlin. “One outing with her and people started speculating.”

“They even thought I had an affair with a married man before, remember?” Merlin said. “All because I was seen in a fancy restaurant with Mr Kennel.” 

“I think he’s a slimy old man though,” Arthur said, remembering with distaste when he caught Mr Kennel eyeing Merlin up and down when they met at this fundraiser a few months back. “Trying to seduce you into his bed.”

Merlin snorted. “As if he can keep up with me in bed,” Merlin said, his cheeks flushing when Arthur leered at him. 

“Oh, only I can,” Arthur agreed. Merlin simply nudged him with his elbow. Arthur laughed and ran his fingers through Merlin’s hair. 

“Like I said,” Merlin continued, clearing his throat as he finished his sandwich. “We knew that being famous comes with repercussions and one of them being our private life aired for everyone to know. So, I’m not surprised Cenred might have heard rumours about why I never swim, not in front of anyone else. I’m just surprised it took someone this long to bring it up to you.”

Arthur frowned as he finished his sandwich as well, already grabbing the bowl of chicken salad Merlin made for him this morning. “So, you’re saying you don’t care?”

“I’m saying it doesn’t matter,” Merlin said as he picked up his cup of tea, sipping it. “What can I do about it, anyway? It’s in the past. It’s not like I can change it. If anyone wants to know about it, feel free to do so.”

“It’s helping though, right?” Arthur said as he recalled of their missed Saturday practises due to the fact Arthur trained a lot. “The Saturday thing?”

“Oh, yes it does!” Merlin said, his smile big on his face. “I might have been reluctant at first but it’s working, Arthur. It…it doesn’t completely remove the fear but it’s more manageable now. It makes me…feel like I’m closer to finding peace whenever I’m underwater.”

Arthur looked relieved and proud at that. “We should continue those sessions.”

Merlin kissed his cheek and went back to sipping his tea. “Alright,” he said. “So, you get what I’m trying to say, Arthur? He’s just trying to mess with your head. He’s a slimy one, that man.”

Arthur agreed with Merlin in his mind. Cenred had looked smug when Arthur had lost. It served to prove that Merlin’s theory was right. 

“You have to conquer it,” Merlin said. “Your biggest fear is failing me and Cenred, somehow, accidentally used that to his advantage. But you need to understand that you can never fail me, no matter what you do.”

“You have too much hope on me,” Arthur mumbled even if his heart bloomed at the admission. Merlin made a weird nose at the back of his throat.

“Not possible,” Merlin said as he grinned brightly at Arthur. “You’re perfect just the way you are in my eyes, Arthur.”

Arthur coloured as he smiled, looking at Merlin in the eyes as he leaned against the couch, munching on the salad. “You too,” Arthur said. Merlin looked bashful and brightened even more. “So, how do you think I should conquer it?”

Merlin licked his lips and sat up. “I’m coming to watch you on your next competition.”

Arthur stilled, his forkful of salad paused mid-way to his mouth. He searched Merlin’s face before his eyes widened. “You’re…?”

“Yeah,” Merlin said, looking a bit guilty. “I never once watched you compete, always assuming that you could win and that you didn’t need me there to distract you. But it only made me realise that by doing that—I indirectly didn’t support you and Arthur, you need to know that I’ll always support you.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said. “Of course I know you’ll always support me. I never once thought that you not being there meant you didn’t support me.”

“But it seems like that to others, didn’t it?” Merlin said with a sigh. 

“It’s not your fault,” Arthur assured. “You’re busy with your own job. A job you can’t simply leave just because you feel like it.”

“I know,” Merlin said with a soft smile. “But to Cenred, it seemed to look like that and if he could convince you so easily that you don’t mean much to me, I think it’s time we change some things about us.”

Arthur blinked, mildly confused at that. “How?”

“Well, for starters, I’ll come to every one of your competitions.”

“You really can’t,” Arthur said. “You have a job.”

“I can take a few days off,” Merlin said. “I have a lot of vacation days left.”

“Not for every single one of my competitions,” Arthur said, an amused smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Especially for the Olympics.”

Merlin seemed to think over something before he said, “Fine, every once a month then.”

Arthur’s heart skipped a beat at the idea. “Once a month, huh?”

Merlin nodded, looking completely serious. “Yeah,” Merlin said. “Every once a month. I think I can do that.”

“Are you sure?” Arthur asked as he licked his suddenly dry lips. “I mean, you know I understand why you can’t come, right?”

Merlin gave him a sharp look, causing Arthur to stop asking him the same thing again. “I’ll be there,” Merlin said, stubbornly. “Besides, I want to see Cenred in person.”

Arthur raised his eyebrows. He knew he couldn’t exactly tell him no. Merlin would only fight back and Arthur was curious to see his reaction to Cenred as well. More importantly, from the gleam in those icy blue eyes, Arthur knew Cenred would be in for a surprise.

“And you think,” Arthur said. “That just with you being there, I could beat Cenred in his game?”

“Of course,” Merlin said, a smirk on his face. “I’m your lucky charm, aren’t I?”

Arthur chuckled, his heart light in his chest. “Confident, are we?”

“Are you telling me I’m not?” Merlin asked, his eyebrows raising in mock disbelief. Arthur placed the salad box on the table and touched Merlin’s knees that were curled on the sofa, pulling the cup of tea from his hands and placing it next to his salad box. Merlin watched him curiously and yelped when Arthur pulled his legs with a show of his strength, causing his lover to lie flat on the sofa. 

Arthur saw the flush rising on his cheekbones. Arthur felt smug and it must have shown on his face because Merlin huffed. “What are you going all caveman on me for?” Merlin asked. Arthur crawled on him and lied in between his legs, kissing him deeply until he left Merlin breathless. 

“You are my lucky charm,” Arthur whispered against his lips. “And half of my own soul.”

Merlin looked at him, his face soft and filled with so much love that it made Arthur’s heart ache. 

Merlin traced Arthur’s cheekbones with his own fingers before he grasped the cheeks, pulling Arthur closer and kissed him again until he was keening underneath him, arching his body in a way to get Arthur’s full weight on him. 

“I love you,” Merlin gasped out as they broke away.

“I love you too,” Arthur said. 

Merlin grinned, face still flushed and lips becoming swollen. “I’m going to be the best boyfriend ever. Cenred will wish he had a guy like me.”

Arthur snickered before he said, “You’re already the best boyfriend ever. I can’t ask for more.”

Merlin looked pleased at the compliment. Arthur had known that Merlin liked compliments. It seemed to be a kink of his that he never spoke out loud. Nevertheless, it worked out fine for Arthur anyway since he liked complimenting Merlin. He knew he deserved them. 

“Also,” Merlin said, his voice growing soft. “Stop training so hard, okay?”

Arthur sagged his body weight on Merlin, hearing a slight _omph_ underneath him. “Alright,” Arthur agreed easily, knowing Merlin was right as he tucked his face under Merlin’s chin. 

“Everything’ll be fine,” Merlin said. “When we join forces, we rock the world.”

Arthur cracked a smile at that because it was true. He nodded. 

“I second that.”

 

**xv. Merlin**

 

He watched Arthur swim, smiling satisfied when Arthur didn’t make any mistakes. He was back to his usual perfect swimming techniques that he always envied. When Arthur reached where he stood, Merlin stopped the timer and looked at it, humming thoughtfully. 

Arthur pushed his goggle off his face, pulling his cap away with it. He shook his head, letting his blond hair poof a bit. “So?” Arthur asked, looking up at Merlin. The brunet crouched down to show Arthur the time on his stopwatch, grinning when Arthur smiled proudly. 

“I beat Cenred’s time,” Arthur said with a laugh. “And it didn’t even take me long.”

“He’s not that great of a swimmer,” Merlin said flippantly. “You, on the other hand, wow.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. He sighed before he pointed at the water. “Want to swim with me?”

Merlin bit his bottom lip as he looked over his shoulder to the closed doors of the stadium. It was a Friday and his class finished early like it usually did before the weekends. “Uhm,” Merlin said. “Alright, give me a minute to go and change—”

“Just get in,” Arthur said, his eyes gleaming. 

Merlin reddened at the blatant mischief in his eyes. “Arthur,” Merlin said, scandalised. “I can’t strip here where anyone could walk in!”

“I’m just asking you to remove your shirt,” Arthur said with a huff. “Your shorts is a good enough substitute for a pair of swimming trunks.”

Merlin sighed but he had missed swimming with Arthur. So, he nodded, pulling out the stopwatch and placing it on the ground. Then, he pulled off his whistle and dropped it next to the stopwatch. Arthur’s eyes were zeroed on him, making his skin feel hot. 

“Stop staring at me,” Merlin hissed. His cheeks flushed even more when Arthur leered at him. “Arthur!”

“What?” Arthur said, shrugging almost innocently. “You’re just hard to not stare at.”

Merlin huffed as he stripped off his shirt and dropped it to the ground before he toed off his shoes and socks. Arthur pushed himself away from the edge of the pool, swimming a bit before he gestured Merlin to get into the water. 

Merlin narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend before he took in a deep breath. With one last glance at the closed door, he dived into the water. Immediately, he felt different from all the other times he went into the water. He didn’t feel threatened by the water and he didn’t feel like he was about to get a panic attack any time soon. 

It could also be because of Arthur who was hovering close to him, keeping an eye on him when he surfaced. Yet, this time, Merlin thought it did feel a lot different. Better. Merlin pushed his wet hair from his face, looking at Arthur before he winked at him. Arthur cracked a grin at that as he swam close to Merlin before he grasped his waist and pulled him close.

“Hey,” Arthur said. “You know what we never did?”

“What?” Merlin asked as he raised his eyebrows at Arthur. 

“We never had sex in the pool,” Arthur said. Merlin looked at him with wide eyes, mouth threatening to drop. He then slapped Arthur’s strong chest and gulped when he saw lust curling in those blue eyes. 

“No!” Merlin said as he struggled out of Arthur’s grip, swimming away and laughing when Arthur swam after him. 

“Come here, Merlin,” Arthur said with a sing-song voice, a grin on his face that spelt out the things he wanted to do to him when he caught Merlin. Merlin gave him a chase. He swam away from Arthur every time he got too close, his mind momentarily forgetting that he was in the pool, surrounded by water and in danger of the water enveloping him if he let it. 

Merlin laughed again when Arthur almost caught him by the waist. Arthur looked happy as well, the smile on his face so wide on his face. Merlin was happy that he was slowly becoming himself again, not the stranger he had been a week ago. Merlin didn’t realise that Arthur had lunged at him again until his back collided the wall of the pool with a gasp. 

Arthur boxed him in with on hand on the pool edge and his chest pressed against Merlin’s. Arthur leaned down, the wet droplets of the water hit Merlin’s cheeks as he looked at him. 

“Well,” Merlin said as he licked his lips, grimacing at the taste. “You caught me.” 

Arthur grinned then, predatorily as he brought his hand down from the pool edge and grabbed Merlin’s left thigh and hitching it up at his waist. Merlin was pushed upwards a bit and he scrambled to touch the pool’s edge, eyes widening as he was pushed out of the water. 

Before he knew it, Arthur got out of the water as well and pushed Merlin on his back on the floor. Arthur pushed his legs apart and slotted between them, flushing every inch of their bodies together. 

“I’m going to show you the wonders of having sex at the pool,” Arthur said. Merlin’s heart raced in his chest as he touched Arthur’s shoulders and tried to push him off. 

“Arthur, as much as I want this to happen,” Merlin said. “We are out in the open. Anyone can walk in.”

“Let them,” Arthur said as he leaned down. “Want the whole world to know you’re mine.”

Merlin flushed as he caressed Arthur’s face and gasped when Arthur kissed him deeply. Merlin wrapped his legs around his waist as he let Arthur pry open his mouth and push his tongue in, devouring him so thoroughly, it left an ache in his chest and his groin tightening in anticipation. 

“You’re in a mood today,” Merlin panted as Arthur dragged his nose down his jaw before he replaced it with his lips, mapping his neck. Merlin tilted his head and closed his eyes, biting his lips to hold back the sounds that threatened to escape his lips as Arthur kissed and sucked his neck. 

“Love you,” Arthur murmured as one hand began to explore Merlin’s chest, dragging it to the edges of his pants. “Want you.”

Merlin pushed Arthur away before he clutched Arthur’s back and one hand buried in the blond hair before dragging him down to kiss him again. “Not here,” Merlin murmured. “My office.”

Arthur didn’t have to be told twice as he scrambled off Merlin and tugged him up, securing an arm around his waist and pulled him close to neck him again. Merlin dragged his fingertips down Arthur’s spine before he reached the tight water-proof shorts. 

“Come on,” Arthur whispered hotly against his neck and dragged him to his office, occasionally pushing him up against the walls and lockers to kiss him and Merlin let him. 

When they tumbled on his couch with the office door locked and blinds pulled, they were already thinking of nothing else but each other. 

 

**xvi. Arthur**

 

Merlin was here. 

Arthur knew that he had been serious when he said he wanted to support Arthur. He had been adamant about it when Arthur had asked him again if he really wanted to follow him. At the end, when Arthur had come home to pack his things, he wasn’t surprised to see Merlin already packed their belongings and ready to go. 

Arthur had been amused and if he was being honest, he had been a little nervous. Despite the speculations, neither of them had ever confirmed or denied the rumours of them being together and with Merlin sharing a hotel room and coming to his competition, he knew that they were asking for microphones to be shoved in their faces for questions and pictures of them together taken. 

And like Arthur predicted, just as they arrived at their hotel room, there were already pictures of them seen together in the airport and with one suitcase floating in the internet and written in articles by the celebrity columns of the news tablets. 

“I think this time,” Arthur mused as he sat at he edge of the hotel bed, Merlin lounging on the other side of it sipping a glass of champagne the hotel had given them to welcome their stay. “This time, I don’t think anyone’s gonna buy our nonchalance and innocent act when they question the ‘nature’ of our relationship.”

Merlin hummed. When Arthur turned around to look at him, Merlin had a thoughtful look on his face before he looked at Arthur. “Do you mind everyone knowing about us?”

Arthur shrugged, tossing his phone on the bedside table before he gestured Merlin to hand over an empty glass and the bottle of champagne. Merlin poured Arthur a glass and handed it over to him as the blond settled next to him. 

“Not really,” Arthur said. “Father already disowned me when he found out I wanted to become a swimmer instead of taking over his company. So, it’s not like he’ll want to do anything with me anyway. Morgana already knew about us. To be honest, there’s no reason for me to not want everyone to know we’re together.”

Merlin chewed his bottom lip. Arthur touched his hand and intertwined his fingers together. “I want that too,” Merlin whispered under his breath. “I really don’t care to be honest if anyone finds out about us. But…if we confirmed it? It’ll be…nice.”

Arthur agreed. It would feel like they finally have the freedom to act like how they usually acted without being slightly careful. 

“But,” Merlin said, stopping Arthur from taking a sip of his champagne. “Do you think—our careers?”

“Camelot Sports Company is LGBT friendly,” Arthur said. “You made sure it was before you signed their contract.”

“I know but that’s not what I’m talking about,” Merlin said as he looked at Arthur. “I’m talking about your sponsors. Those who paid you money for you to be there at competitions or to be their ambassadors for their products. Do you think?”

Arthur huffed out an amused breath. “You’re worried about the money?” Arthur asked. “Merlin, I’m a Pendragon. I already have a trust fund to my name that could last us years, maybe even after we’re dead.”

Merlin furrowed his eyebrows, still looking a bit worried. “If it’s about my career in particular,” Arthur said. “Don’t, okay? If, at the end, I lose my sponsors, it’s fine. I had a good run.”

“You’re taking this awfully flippant for someone who worked his arse off a few weeks ago because someone threatened his ranking,” Merlin said but it wasn’t said cruelly, more in slight disbelief. 

Arthur looked at him before he shook their intertwined hands. “Because I wanted to prove to myself—and to you—that if I’m the best, I can…protect you.”

Merlin’s cheeks coloured in slight shame but he smiled anyway. “Alright,” Merlin said. Arthur looked at him pointedly before Merlin replied, “I think I’ll be okay as long as Camelot Sports Co. is having my back.”

“They are,” Arthur assured. “You’re one of their best coaches, in fact, I can vouch you’re _the_ best. Not even Coach Gaius have anything on you.”

Merlin chuckled, his shoulders shaking as he sipped his champagne. “Okay then.”

Arthur grinned and nodded, “Alright.”

 

**xvii. Merlin**

 

So, this was Cenred, Merlin mused as he looked at the man strutting into the scene. Merlin had reviewed his swimming techniques while coaching Arthur and he admitted, Cenred had talent. But compared to Arthur on his best day? He had nothing on him. 

He was among the crowd closest to the pool, eyes immediately dropping on Arthur as his name was announced by the voice commentator. Everyone grew silent then when the countdown started and the whistle blowed.

Merlin watched with his breath held as Arthur started off great. His confidence was showing in each stroke, no longer stressed and full of mistakes like it had been in the previous competitions. In fact, with a smile on his face, Merlin realised that Arthur was back. This Arthur who could beat anyone in swimming. 

Cenred was immediately left behind and those who supported Cenred seemed to be whining in confusion. 

“Oi, is Cenred slow or what today?” the person next to him said and Merlin chuckled before he turned to them and spoke.

“Nah, Arthur had always been pretty fast,” Merlin said. “You really didn’t think Cenred could hold Arthur off his game for long, did you?”

It was funny to see how the person looked at him with wide eyes, immediately recognising him. 

“You’re Coach Emrys!” the person said and some people had stopped watching the competition to look at him. Merlin gave him a smile and went back to watch Arthur. 

Merlin clapped his hands loudly when Arthur touched the podium first followed by the rest, the whistle blown to indicate it was the end of the competition. 

Arthur had won. 

Cenred was left way behind. 

Arthur had a smile on his face as he turned to stare at the huge screen to look at his time and—

“He broke his own record!” Merlin exclaimed as everyone cheered at the record on the screen. 

After that, it was just a blur. Merlin rushed into the changing rooms and caught Arthur wearing his shirt before he tackled him into a back hug. Arthur turned around and immediately hugged him back, laughing as he kissed Merlin’s forehead. 

“You did it!” Merlin said as he pecked his lips, looking at the gold medal he won hanging off his neck. “You’re back!”

“It’s all because of you,” Arthur said as he gripped Merlin’s waist. “My lucky charm.”

Merlin flushed, happy. He was proud of Arthur. 

“Well, so the rumours are true, huh?” a voice said, full of distaste. Arthur turned to look at Cenred, his grip on Merlin’s waist slackened until he pulled away. Merlin almost frowned until Arthur looped a hand around his shoulders and dragged him to his side, kissing his cheek. 

“Yeap,” Arthur said. Merlin smiled then, feeling light on his feet. “Congratulations by the way.”

Cenred looked at Merlin before he looked at Arthur and then he sneered. “This isn’t over yet, Arthur,” Cenred said. “I won’t back down so easily.”

Arthur shrugged. “Looking forward to it. Come on, Merlin.”

Merlin chuckled as they walked out of the changing rooms, ready to leave. “‘Looking forward to it’? Really? You’re lucky your agent isn’t here instead. She’ll deck you on the head for being so cheesy.”

“You love me for it,” Arthur whispered in his ear and Merlin rolled his eyes.

“I’m still going to report to your agent about that line,” Merlin said and Arthur snorted. 

Just like Arthur predicted, the minute they stepped out of the changing rooms, they were pulled into a room for interviews and questions about the win and whatnot. 

When, like Merlin knew they would, asked about the nature of their relationship, Arthur only said, “He’s my boyfriend,” and left it at that. 

Before they even made it to their hotel, that became the headlines of every news tablet. 

But Merlin couldn’t find it in himself to care. Not when everything started to feel right after so long. Arthur nudged his shoulder as they walked to their hotel room down the quiet cool hallway. Merlin glanced at him before he smiled. 

“I’m happy,” Merlin said as an explanation. 

Arthur smiled back. “Me too.”

 

**xvii. Arthur**

 

Arthur watched Merlin carefully as they swam to the middle of the pool. “Ready?” Arthur asked. Merlin looked at him before he took in a deep breath. He nodded. “Alright…so, take in a deep breath and you know what to do.”

“Let’s do this,” Merlin said. It had been almost half a year since Arthur proposed this exercise and right now, Arthur felt like this could be it. This could be the end of all of their struggles and every Saturday meeting. 

Arthur could feel it that Merlin could do this. Today was the day he would let the water embrace him and embrace it in return, trusting the water and letting it take care of him like Arthur had let it do for him in multiple occasions. 

“Alright, at the count of three,” Arthur said. This time, Arthur wouldn’t be going into the water with him. Merlin closed his eyes and when he opened them again after a second, Arthur said, “One. Two. Three.”

Merlin took in a deep breath and he pushed himself underwater. Arthur watched him closely, swimming away from him slowly. Merlin remained underwater for a minute before he surfaced. Arthur didn’t swim closer to look at him. He didn’t have to—because Arthur saw it. 

He saw the expression on his face.

How instead of a frown or an indifferent face like all the other time Merlin surfaced, this time, he came up with a smile. A smile so wide that Arthur’s heart leaped in his chest. 

“Arthur!” Merlin exclaimed as he looked at Arthur, his eyes glimmering. “Arthur! I—I did it!”

Arthur swam close to him now, searching his face and when he saw nothing but relief and proudness, Arthur had hugged him with one hand tight, burying his face against his neck and grinned. “You did it,” Arthur breathed out, in awe that this worked. 

“I—I didn’t even think about them,” Merlin said, his voice breathless. “I just—All I could feel down there was peace, Arthur. And…And I liked the quiet. I—Arthur, when I realised you didn't even come down with me…I wasn’t scared or panicking. I…I did it.”

Arthur pulled away. “I’m proud of you, Merlin,” Arthur said as he patted Merlin’s cheek. “I knew you could do it.” Merlin’s eyes were watery but they were happy. Arthur felt his heart skipping a beat in his chest at that. 

“Let me show you,” Merlin said. “Let’s go underwater together. Let me show you.”

Arthur smiled and let Merlin this time to pull him underwater, his heart swelling at how much progress Merlin had made. And like Merlin said, he was pushing away from Arthur the second he got used to being underwater. Instead, he let his body sink to the bottom of the pool and he stayed there for a while. Arthur swam closer to him, hitting the bottom of the pool too, gesturing a thumbs up to him that earned him a pair of flailing hands in excitement. 

When they both surfaced, Arthur managed to get a few lung full of air before Merlin kissed him, his happiness flooding into him. Arthur twirled him around the water, laughing as he pulled away from the kiss. 

“I did it,” Merlin said as he hugged Arthur. “Thank you, Arthur. I did it.”

“I knew you could do it,” Arthur said. “I knew it. I knew you won’t let the fear rule you. You’re so strong, Merlin. I knew you could do it.”

“Thank you for believing in me, Arthur. Thank you so much for being there for me,” Merlin said and Arthur had to kiss him for that because now, Merlin was just acting stupid. 

“Stop sounding so surprised at me staying,” Arthur chided a bit, poking Merlin’s nose. “You know you’re important to me, more than anything in this world. There’s nothing in this world that makes me happier than being there for you and there’s no one I believe more than I believe in you.”

Merlin grinned, for the first time ever since Arthur had seen him in the water, looking peaceful and genuinely happy to be here. 

“I knew they could never conquer you,” Arthur said later when they were drying out the water after a shower. Merlin simply shrugged and pecked Arthur’s shoulder before he moved to wear his shirt over his body.

“I thought I would never get over the fear,” Merlin said, quietly. “I thought I’ll always be scared of the water. But—you always had a way of helping me. Told you you’ll never fail me.”

Arthur’s heart bloomed at that as he touched Merlin’s hair. “Thank you for believing me.”

Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur’s waist. “Now who’s talking like an idiot?”

Arthur huffed as he hugged Merlin. He kissed the tip of Merlin’s ear. “I love you.”

Merlin hummed. “I love you too.”

 

**xviii. Merlin**

 

He knew Anderson wouldn’t give up on trying to get even at him for pulling him out of the competition two months ago. He had grown worse than ever, always picking a fight with him and even started to make fun at him ever since he came out with Arthur to the world that they were dating. 

Thankfully, there weren’t any permanent damages because of the news. People rarely gave them a second glance, almost as if they were just waiting for the day for them to admit that the rumours were true. Of course, not everything was perfect. Arthur did lose one or two major sponsors but bigger and better ones supported him just as immediately. 

Camelot Sports Company even made a statement saying they supported them and that was that. Anyone else who didn’t like them were entitled to their own opinions. Merlin and Arthur rarely let others to get to them. Not when they had other more important things to think about. 

Like this for an instance, where Anderson seemed to have spread rumours to his students that he couldn’t swim and hence should be replaced with a different coach. 

“Alright, enough,” Merlin snapped when another one of his student refused to listen to him. “Okay, that’s it! All of you, gather around, _now_!”

Irritated and done with all the insolence, he threw the clipboard to the ground and whistled loudly when his students moved too slow for his liking. He noticed that Anderson wasn’t heeding to his advice and was just floating on the water on his back. 

“Anderson, you too!” Merlin barked. Anderson glanced at him before he pushed himself upright and came swimming towards him. 

Once all of his students were gathered, Merlin crossed his arms against his chest. “Tell me,” Merlin started. “Why none of you are listening to me all week?”

Like predicted, none of them spoke. 

“Come on!” Merlin urged, eyes wide. “You all seemed to have something to say to me, so tell it to my face now that I’m asking. Why aren’t you following my advices and corrections? Have I done something to offend you lot?”

He still didn’t get answers. 

“None of you are leaving until you tell me what you want from me,” Merlin snapped. 

He could see some of his students were becoming uneasy at Merlin’s orders. Anderson finally took a step forward. As usual, he was the one who began complaining. 

“You’re not fit to be our coach,” Anderson said. “You can’t swim!”

Merlin remained silent as he looked away from Anderson to the rest of his students. He raised an eyebrow, as if asking his students to back up Anderson. Emerett then said, “Well, we never see you swim, sir.”

“Right,” Merlin said, rubbing a finger down the bridge of his nose. “So, just because you never saw me swim, you assume I’m not fit to train you lot?”

“It’s not just that,” another one piped. “You almost drowned when Anderson accidentally pushed you into the water.”

“Accidentally?” Merlin asked, almost amused. 

“Oh, don’t sound so innocent!” Anderson said. “We know your farce. Give it up and let us have a proper coach like we deserve.”

Maybe Arthur was right to call his students idiots. “Okay, here’s how it’s going to go,” Merlin said. “Obviously I’ve been too lenient on you all, thinking that since I’m an adult and so are all of you, we would have a mutual understanding to respect one another.”

After a second, he continued, “Obviously that’s not the case. Fine.”

Merlin took in a deep breath.

“Let me tell you all something,” Merlin said, voice filled with seriousness. “I’m telling you all right now that you all will never succeed with an attitude like this. You lot think you know everything when really, you have a lot to work on. You think you’re ready for the big leagues and sure, with how you are all scouted by this company, it should seem like it.”

Merlin shook his head. “Unfortunately, I don’t think any of you will be going anywhere if you don’t drop the arrogant act of knowing everything. Especially you, Anderson. So, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to file a report of complaint about how my students want a different coach. When I’m asked why, I’ll tell them that my credibility is being questioned. Of course, they’ll also want to question your leader.”

Merlin then looked at Anderson. “Do you want me to name you?”

Anderson tensed, his jaw tightening. “Well?” Merlin asked when none of them spoke. 

“Look, we’re just making sure you know what you’re doing,” Emerett said. Merlin rolled his eyes. 

“I’ve been a coach for five years, six counting this year,” Merlin said. “I’ve managed to train so many great swimmers. Even Arthur comes to me for training once in a while when his coach is busy with new recruits. I’m not a newbie. I won’t lead you all astray.”

“Mr Pendragon is your boyfriend,” Anderson said. “Of course he’ll think you’re a good coach.”

Merlin sighed sufferingly, shaking his head. “All of you are dismissed. I’m going to be naming Anderson and Emerett in the report for questioning later for a coach exchange.” 

Emerett made a weak noise at the back of his throat, paling meanwhile Anderson growled. 

“I said dismissed,” Merlin growled back and he watched the timid ones scurrying away. Before Merlin could even walk away, Anderson had stomped over and grabbed his shoulder, spinning him around. “Anderson, what do you think you’re doing?”

Anderson then grinned, nastily. “I’ll show everyone that you’re nothing but a liar, lying to us about your ‘credibility’.” And with that, he said, “Hey, everyone, let’s see if he really can swim or not.”

Before Merlin could comprehend what was happening, he was once again being thrown into the water. Merlin managed to take in a deep breath before he ended up splashing into the water. He started to flail around as he begun to sink underwater and he waited for the panic to sink in and his muscles to lock like the first time. 

But then—

He didn’t. 

He didn’t panic. He couldn’t feel the surge of fear. Instead, his mind flashed back to the times he spent with Arthur underwater, laughing and feeling relaxed. And then he felt it, the feeling of water surrounding him, cradling him like a lover’s embrace. He felt warm here, safe. Just like when he realised how quiet and peaceful it could be, the water around him was quiet, calming. 

It made Merlin’s heart instead of racing, slow down. He felt light in his chest. 

He couldn’t hear the cruel laughter or jeers anymore.

He couldn’t see their faces anymore.

Instead, he felt— _free_. 

He swam right up and surfaced, taking in a few deep breaths. Then, his mind filtered back to what was happening. The chaos around him. Arthur was at the edge of the pool, he was halfway ready to jump into the water and there was Anderson, looking shocked that Merlin surfaced. 

Some of his students, the ones who didn’t disrespect him looked like they had seen a horror scene come to life. Merlin then began to laugh, bright and loudly before he shook his head. When his eyes locked with Arthur’s, he saw Arthur sighing in relief and a smile on his face. His eyes were burning in anger though and Merlin knew that if he didn’t do anything, Arthur would march up to Anderson and punch him across his face.

“Well,” Merlin said loudly, catching everyone’s attention. “Look at that. I can swim after all.”

And to demonstrate, Merlin swam to Arthur and pulled himself out of the water, shaking his legs to try and get rid the water from his shoes but sighed when he realised that his favourite shoes were ruined forever. 

“I love these shoes,” Merlin mumbled. Arthur shook his head, amused. 

“I’ll buy you a new pair,” Arthur said but Merlin simply rolled his eyes. 

“No need to buy me things, Arthur,” Merlin said but he knew Arthur would buy him the shoes anyway from the look on his face. Then, he looked away from his blond to Anderson. 

Anderson was gaping, his mouth opening and closing before all the blood disappeared from his face. Emerett looked ready to piss his pants as well. Good. 

“Anderson,” Merlin barked. “This is the last straw. I’ve been lenient with you, not wanting to ruin your future but you had purposely pushed me into the pool, knowing there’s a chance I could drown.”

Arthur had snapped his eyes at Anderson and Merlin touched his elbow to stop him from walking towards Anderson. 

“I—I wasn’t going to actually watch you drown!” Anderson protested but Arthur growled, silencing him.

“I don’t care!” Merlin said as he walked past Arthur to get to Anderson. “You’re coming with me when I file a disciplinary complaint form. Anyone else want to push me into the pool again or are we done with this fucking nonsense?”

Anderson looked scared. And Merlin pitied him but this was his doing. The boy had to learn a lesson. He shouldn’t act like a brat just because he thought he was right. “I’ll see you in Director Hopper’s office tomorrow. If you don’t show up, I’m going to go inside and talk to him anyway and then it’ll be just my words against nothing.”

“S—Sir,” Anderson began but Merlin only shook his head, silencing him. 

“Don’t make it worse for yourself,” Merlin said, eyeing Emerett too. “Dismissed,” he told everyone else and walked to his office, Arthur following him. Once the door to his office closed, Merlin turned around to look at Arthur who only had a giddy smile on his face. 

“What?” Merlin asked he smiled back a bit warily at Arthur and walked to his locker located in his office. He opened it and took out his spare clothes and a towel. He began to strip and wipe his body from the water, grimacing at the smell of chemicals. “I need a shower.”

He squeaked when he felt arms wrapping around his waist, his back flushing against Arthur’s chest. “You were wonderful out there,” Arthur whispered against his wet skin. Merlin pinked as he looked at Arthur from the mirror in the locker. 

“Yeah?” Merlin said with a smile. “Showed them who’s boss, eh?”

“I’ll testify for you,” Arthur said. “Hell, I’ll drag a few of your dumb students to testify too.”

Merlin sighed and leaned against Arthur. “His contract will be reconsidered if he's guilty for almost injuring his coach,” Merlin said. 

“His fault for being so damn arrogant,” Arthur huffed, not one ounce of pity in his voice. Merlin bit his bottom lip and shook his head. Arthur turned him around before he pulled the towel from Merlin’s hands to continue wiping his chest. “Don’t feel bad, Merlin. I know you care about your students but sometimes, there’s just some people you can’t help, no matter how hard you try.”

“I hope he learns his lesson,” Merlin breathed out. “I don’t like doing these things. It can ruin a person’s dream, future.”

Arthur shrugged as he looked at Merlin in the eyes. “He tried to hurt you. He deserved it. If I could, I would have punched him. I don’t care if I’ll get into trouble.”

Merlin looped his arms around Arthur’s neck and kissed his nose. “My hero,” Merlin murmured as Arthur dragged the towel around his waist. “But did you see me there? I…I didn’t even panic, Arthur. I…I felt safe.”

Arthur smiled, dazzlingly. “And that, my love, is how I feel every time I’m underwater.”

“I’m still so amazed that I could…I could do that,” Merlin said. “It’s like they never existed. Never made me hate the water.”

“I told you, didn’t I? A long time ago? You’re too strong to let them get to you,” Arthur said. 

Merlin let Arthur to continue wipe him clean of the water, not even attempting to touch him inappropriately. Merlin hummed, amused at that, looking at Arthur who was on his knees, carefully wiping his right feet. 

“You’re actually being a gentleman about this,” Merlin said. Arthur laughed. 

“Yeah,” Arthur said he looked at Merlin’s face before his eyes dropped on Merlin’s pants. “I’m actually saving my favourite place to pat for last.”

Merlin’s face reddened. He tried to kick Arthur’s face but ended up laughing when Arthur caught his feet and tickled the sole of his feet. “Arthur, stop! I’m going to fall!”

“I’ll catch you,” Arthur said, laughing as well. Then, a bit more seriously he added, “I’ll always catch you.”

Merlin giggled, feeling freer than he ever felt. “I know,” he said, earning a soft look from Arthur. “I know.”

 

**xix. Arthur**

 

It was a week later when the Anderson case was settled. Anderson was suspended from participating in the next three competitions, his contract was being reconsidered and he was placed under a different coach. When the news was delivered to Merlin, he had simply sighed resigned and nodded. 

Arthur was mostly happy Anderson got what he deserved. In his opinion, they didn’t even have to keep Anderson. 

They were just sitting at the edges of the pool, their feet kicking the water. It was another Saturday and even if Merlin was no longer having a bad time underwater, they both agreed to keep going with this Saturday swimming together thing. 

A bonding time like this that they never could have, not with Merlin’s fear of water before this. 

They had been swimming for a while and Arthur decided to sit down, Merlin joining him a few seconds later. It was a silent night. Arthur had another competition next month and Merlin was expecting a new student later this week too. 

“Arthur,” Merlin said, catching his attention. Their interlaced fingers squeezing. 

“Yeah?” Arthur said, looking at his lover. 

“Why do you swim?” Merlin asked. Arthur looked away before he took in a deep breath.

“For you,” Arthur confessed. He never told Merlin why he chose to swim. He never told anyone the reason why. But just like everything that Arthur had ever done in his life, he started to swim because of Merlin and he kept on swimming because of him too. His lover looked at him, confused. 

“Me?” Merlin asked, almost as if he was waiting for Arthur to tell him it was a joke. Arthur only shook his head. 

“Yeah, you,” Arthur said, his voice soft. “Remember when we were twelve and you taught me how to swim?” 

“Yeah,” Merlin said, smiling at the memory. “Even then I had a knack for teaching people how to swim.”

Arthur smirked at that. “You always were a little bossy when it comes to teaching.”

“Oi,” Merlin said as he nudged Arthur’s shoulder. “But seriously, me?”

“Yeah,” Arthur said. “When I was twelve, I began swimming because of you. I didn’t like to swim always, though, even if people said I had the talent for it. I didn’t feel like I was ‘born into it’ like I always tell people when they ask me how I got into swimming or why. In fact, you wouldn’t believe it but—I hated swimming.”

Merlin made a surprised noise at the back of his throat. “What? No, you don’t. You love swimming!”

“I didn’t at first,” Arthur said. “Remember when I joined the swimming club back in high school? I only joined because you told me to.”

Merlin frowned. “Wait, you only joined because I asked you to?”

Arthur nodded. He smiled when Merlin looked at him with wide eyes, filled with confusion and slight awe. “Your opinions and ideas had and will always be important to me, Merlin. Even when we were just friends, everything you suggested, I would agree to try it out at least once. Haven’t you noticed that I never said no to you before?”

Merlin opened his mouth and then he closed it. “Right,” Merlin said, sounding even more surprised. “Now that you mentioned it.”

“I hated swimming,” Arthur said. “I did well, I was the best. I even got scouted. It was all great but I still hated it. Not until I found a proper reason to why I should stay swimming.”

Merlin quietened. “After you found out I almost drowned,” Merlin said. Arthur nodded. 

“So, I went back to train when you urged me to and from there, I realised, I could keep you safe, I could keep you from harm’s way, from drowning, if I start becoming a good swimmer. If I start loving the water.” Arthur sighed. “Halfway though, when I found out you were becoming a swim coach, saw how you sometimes looked at the water with mixed emotions of fear and longing, watching you wish you could swim again like how you used to love to do before those bastards ruined it for you—it made me want to try harder because I know you would hate me if I didn’t. Not when I _can_ swim.”

Merlin squeezed their fingers. “So, you did it for me,” Merlin said. “I can’t believe you did it for me. I feel bad—”

“Why?” Arthur asked, furrowing his eyebrows. 

“Because, I felt like I pushed you into a career you hated—”

Arthur pecked his lips to silence him before he grinned. “I love the water now, Merlin. I love swimming now. Especially once I saw how hard you worked to get here, even when all the while you were scared of the water. It made me want to be better.”

“Promise?” Merlin said. “Promise that you actually do like this and—”

“Hey,” Arthur said. “I promise that I kept at it until now because I finally fell in love with the sport. I promise.”

Merlin sighed in relief before he looked at Arthur sheepishly. “The reason I became a swim coach is actually because of you too. Besides the conquering the fear thing—I didn’t want to do something different from you. I…I didn’t tell you this but before I entered high school, I promised myself that I would pick the same career or a similar variation of what you chose to be close to you.”

Arthur blinked, taken aback at the information. “So, you became a swim coach and tried your best to get here because—”

“I…wanted to be close to you,” Merlin mumbled, looking away as his cheeks flushed. Arthur stared at him for a while, his heart lurching in his chest and he knew then, right then and now, he couldn’t live another day without Merlin. He couldn’t let this man go. He could _never_ let him go. 

“Marry me,” Arthur blurted out. Merlin stiffened and snapped his gaze at Arthur, his eyes wide in surprise. 

“W—what?” Merlin asked. 

“ _Marry me_ ,” Arthur said, this time, he sounded composed and serious. He took hold of Merlin’s other hand and looked at him properly in the eyes. “I love you. I fall in love with you more and more every day. I—can’t imagine living a life without you in it. You’re it for me, Merlin. My better half. My soulmate. The love of my life. The reason why I sometimes get up in the morning for when life throws me out of loop. Marry me, Merlin. Become mine…forever.”

Merlin continued to look at him surprised, his eyes filling up with tears. “You’re…you’re serious?” Merlin’s voice cracked. “Even with all my baggages, my clinginess? My—”

“Even with your temper tantrums and your irrational love for cherries,” Arthur said, a soft smile on his face. “Marry me.”

Merlin bit his wobbly bottom lip before he nodded. “Yes,” Merlin said, taking in a shuddering breath before he pulled his hands away from Arthur and hugged him tight. Arthur wrapped his arms around him and hugged him back. “Yes, yes, _yes_!”

Arthur chuckled, his heart free in his chest. “I love you,” Arthur said. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Merlin said. “I love you too. I can’t believe you proposed.”

“It was never a question whether or not I’m going to settle down with you, Merlin,” Arthur whispered against him. “For me, I’ve always seen you with me until the very end of our lives.”

Merlin shuddered in his arms. “Me too,” Merlin said, sniffing. “Me too, Arthur. God, yes. I—I didn’t think you would actually propose.”

“I did,” Arthur said. “I’ll propose to you properly with a ring but for now, I only have my words to offer to you as a promise to make you my husband.”

“It’s more than enough,” Merlin said as he pulled away to look at him in the eyes. “Because I always believed you and it’s not going to stop now.”

Arthur smiled and kissed him. Merlin kissed him back filled with love and adoration. 

There was never a doubt in his mind that they would end up for forever. 

There was never a doubt. 


End file.
